Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 14

Xiang Huaizhi looked at those cute emojis and felt more headache-inducing than the advanced math problems he had seen before. Not to mention, this person’s typing speed was quite fast, able to send so many emojis in just a few seconds.

[Team] Xin Xiang Wang Zhi: Didn’t see it.

After sending, he said, « If you tease her again, you’ll have to run the next dungeon on your own. »

Lu Hang: « …Aren’t you chatting on WeChat? Do you have eyes growing on your forehead? »

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: That’s good [about to cry]

[Team] Heart’s Desire: Get ready, we’re about to reach the BOSS.

Jing Huan sat up straight and summoned the Nine-Tailed Fox Immortal.

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: I’m ready, brother ^^

Lu Hang: « Oh, she even has a Nine-Tailed Fox Immortal. Why didn’t she summon it when we were fighting the Demon King before? »

Xiang Huai said: « The demon king’s entire attack is large-scale damage, the summoned beasts can’t dodge it, are you going to pull them out to die? »

Also… » Lu Hang said, « I heard that this account was bought for tens of thousands of yuan, so it seems she’s a little rich lady.

All the scenes and characters in the Jiuxia game are very beautiful, and the summoned beasts are no exception. So besides fighting, players often summon them just to show off. Lu Hang and the two healers had already summoned their beasts early on; Lu Hang’s summoned beast was a spotted deer, while the other two healers each had rabbits.

Jing Huan put down the water cup and saw, with longing, something slowly pulled out… a flower?

To be precise, it was a giant, tightly closed pink flower. The flower stood still for two seconds, then suddenly bloomed, revealing a graceful flower fairy inside. The fairy was small and cute, sitting in the center of the flower, nodding her head, and glowing all around.

……What an ostentatious and flashy summoned beast.

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: Wow 0.0! What kind of summoned beast is this? So cute!!

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: Haha, it’s normal not to recognize it. This is a legendary summoned beast, the Mysterious Star Flower Fairy, with very high damage attributes. There’s only one like this on the entire server.

Damn.

Jing Huan instantly felt a pang of sadness.

How good can this person’s reputation be? They can even hatch a legendary-level summoned beast?!

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: Brother, you’re amazing, rubbing against you >.<

After speaking, Jing Huan turned off the auto-follow, walked the game character over to Xin Xiang Wang Zhi, and used the "rub luck" action.

Xiao Tianjing tilted her body and affectionately rubbed against the shoulder she longed for several times.

Xiang Huaizhi: "……"

He quickly opened the BOSS's dialogue box, switched into battle mode, and forcibly interrupted her action.

Just after meeting, the water demon unleashed an area-wide damage attack, and Jing Huan suddenly lost half of his health. His gear wasn't fully set up yet, making him the one who took the hardest hit. The other four still had more than half their health left, especially Lu Tiaotiao, who seemed to have lost only about 5%.

It seems Lu Tiaotiao's account and equipment aren't bad either.

Lu, give me a damage buff." Killing the BOSS left no time to type, so Xiang Huaizhi spoke directly into the mic, "Everyone watch your health, healers keep Xiao Tianjing healed, Xiao Tianjing…" He paused, "You focus on defense.

Most of the bosses in the game are resistant to sealing, so the Fox Fairy Cave skill is half useless. The blood pool is also hard to hit, so defense is better since it can block half the damage.

Ah…" Jing Huan paused, thinking she had misheard, "Me, defense?

Jing Huan used to play a physical damage class, and his team relied on him for output in dungeon PK. In his understanding, asking him to play defense was like looking down on him.

"Defense." Xiang Huaizhi said no more.

"…Alright then, brother." Jing Huan shamefully lowered her guard.

Following Lu Hang's instructions, he applied a buff to Xiang Huaizhi. Xiang Huaizhi's sword strike dealt a direct 13,000 damage to the BOSS.

Jing Huan was so stunned that her eyes went wide.

He really wanted to see the attributes of the artifact in Xin Xiangwangzhi's hands now.

The battle situation did not allow him to think too much.

The water demoness launched her skill again, directly targeting the player with the lowest health on the field, Xiao Tianjing. A flood of water surged over, and his health dropped by more than half.

Jing Huan immediately placed a healing pool at her feet and healed a bit.

Xiang Huai glanced at his health and emphasized again, "Healer, heal him."

The two healers in the team seemed as if they hadn't heard anything, standing motionless in the corner of the map, even their summoned beasts were just standing there foolishly beside them.

Hey, what's going on…" Lu Hang quickly cast a defense buff on Xiao Tianjing, "Are the healers here?

No one responded. Lu Hang muttered, "Damn, these two are probably AFK… What should we do, run?"

Jing Huan said, "But if we run, won't they get killed by the BOSS?"

At a time like this, still worrying about others… Those two really, knowing the boss fight is about to start, why are they still AFK?" Lu Hang muttered softly, then asked, "Old Xiang, what do we do now?

The Blood Pool skill in Fox Fairy Cave has a cooldown period; after using it once, you have to wait about twenty seconds. By the time it’s ready again, the health probably hasn’t recovered yet, and Little Sweet Jing will be dead.

Both healers are gone, so even if she dies, there’s no way to save her.

"It’s fine, keep going." Xiang Huaizhi remained calm. He glanced at the healer and said, "Give my summoned beast a defense buff.

Lu Hang didn't ask much and quickly applied a defense buff to the Xuanxing Flower Fairy.

The most annoying thing about the Water Demon BOSS is that it locks onto the player with the lowest health in the entire field to attack, an unavoidable skill that can't be dodged. Jing Huan glanced at his own health and barely thought about it: "It's okay, you guys should be able to kill it. Don't worry about me, I don't have much money on me, so I won't drop too many gold coins if I die!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the BOSS's skill was about to hit him again. At the same time, the Xuanxing Flower Fairy beside Xin Xiang Wang Zhi suddenly rushed in front of Xiao Tianjing, blocking most of the damage for him.

Damn, you actually used the Flower Fairy to block damage… what a waste!" Lu Hang couldn't help but say, "The Flower Fairy should be dealing damage, I'll use the deer to block for her.

"How many hits can your deer take?" Xiang Huaizhi retorted.

Lu Hang's elk, like Jing Huan's nine-tailed fox, deals high damage but has low health. It can't compare to the mysterious star flower fairy; it falls after just one hit.

…Alright then.

Jing Huan didn't expect Xiang Huaizhi to use a summoned beast to block for him. He was stunned for a long while before he remembered to speak: "Thank you, brother, sob, it's all my fault for being too weak…"

Xiang Huai said, "Hmm."

Jing Huan: "…"

I was just being modest casually, and you chimed in?!

Lu Hang listened, feeling itchy inside: "Xiao Jingjing, why don't you praise me too? Look, I've given you so many layers of BUFF."

Jing Huan: "Thank you." The official tone is so stiff again.

At this moment, Xin Xiangwangzhi landed another critical hit on the BOSS. Seeing the bright red, huge damage numbers, Jing Huan immediately went into a frenzy of attacks: "Brother, you're amazing! Keep it up! Charge, brother! Hit its head, brother!"

Lu Hang: "…" Damn, he didn't expect Xiang Huaizhi to actually bring Xiao Tianjing over to cheer him on.

Five minutes later, the BOSS's health plummeted, and it was about to go into a rage. Once enraged, it would unleash a full-map area attack just like at the start, then target the killers with greatly increased damage.

Jing Huan glanced at the health bar and thought to himself that it was over; this time he might not be able to hold on.

Just before the boss got angry, Xin Xiang Wang Zhi suddenly stopped the attack.

[Xin Xiangwangzhi used a Healing Red Orb on Xiao Tianjing]

Healing Red Orb, a high-level medicine, Jing Huan saw her health bar instantly filled up.

Lu Hang was completely stunned: "Hey, wait… you just casually throw away medicine that costs dozens of bucks? It's just one dungeon, is it really necessary… Besides, she might not even die."

Xiang Huaizhi: "Just to be safe."

The water demon used an area-wide attack again. Just as Jing Huan was coming to his senses, he saw the water demon facing him suddenly turn around and switch its attack target—after consuming this health recovery orb, his HP was no longer the lowest in the team.

This time, the BOSS's attack target was one of the team's healers—Ai Shi Fen Ni Chi.

Ai Shi Fen Ni Chi was startled and instinctively wanted to dodge, but immediately realized—she had been AFK for most of the day, coming back now… would probably be too obvious.

So she could only stand there foolishly, letting the BOSS attack.

Just when she thought she was doomed, the Nine-Tailed Fox suddenly leapt in front of her, blocking the damage. Immediately after, Little Sweet Jing jumped high and placed a blood pool beneath her feet.

Two minutes later, with a sword strike shattering the water demon, the battle ended and everyone survived.

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: [sigh] That was terrifying, I thought we were going to wipe out.

[Team] Little Sweet Jing: Thanks, War God brother, for helping me run the dungeon~ [blowing a kiss]

[Team] Heart's Desire: By the way.

[Team] Love is Sharing with You: …

[Team] Love is Sharing with You: I had an emergency just now and couldn't make it back in time, sorry…

[Team] Long Road: It's okay, as long as you killed it.

[Team] Little Sweet Scene: War God brother, can we still run dungeons together in the future? [Tear wiping]

[Team] Little Sweet Scene: I will buy gear, I won't be this bad anymore!!

[Team] Little Sweet Scene: [I'm begging you]

Xiang Huaizhi hasn't had time to type yet.

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: OK, I'll call you that from now on!

After sending this message, Lu Hang immediately said, "These two healers are too unreliable, dropping the ball at critical moments. It’s better to bring Xiao Tianjing; when we're bored, we can chat with her."

Xiang Huaizhi clicked the mouse and said, "Up to you."

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Does War God brother agree too? [About to cry]

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: Of course, he's very easygoing, but our next session is irregular. How will we contact you then?

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: How about adding each other on WeChat?

WeChat?

Jing Huan was momentarily stunned, finally realizing what she had forgotten. Flustered, she hurriedly opened WeChat and saw—

His WeChat name is "What are you looking at, Brother Jing?"

The WeChat profile picture is Kobe.

The Moments background is a basketball court.

… Damn, how does this not look like a loli or cute girl's WeChat at all!

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: ?

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: AFK again?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: No, no!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: My phone isn’t with me, send me your WeChat ID, I’ll add you later [pat head]

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: Okay, luhang123.

Jing Huan saved Lu Hang's WeChat ID and was wondering what to do next when a message suddenly popped up on the screen.

[Love is Sharing Your Food] has added you as a friend.

[Friend] Love is Sharing Your Food: …Are you there?

[Friend] Little Sweet Scene: [Nods] Here.

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Sorry about just now, I didn't have any milk for you.

[Friend] Little Sweet Scene: Ah, it's okay, you don't have to go out of your way to apologize to me.

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: …Anyway, sorry [Crying].

[Friend] Love is sharing your food: If you ever need help with anything, just call me.

Jing Huan was puzzled. This girl used to barely pay attention to him, so why did she suddenly become so enthusiastic?

But that’s not important.

[Friend] Little Sweet Jing: Ah, really?

[Friend] Little Sweet Scene: I need your help with something right now!

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Go ahead.

[Friend] Little Sweet Scene: Can we add each other on WeChat?

A few minutes later, Jinghuan picked up her phone and searched for Love is Sharing with You on WeChat.

He thought about it for a moment. Before adding Jia Lutiao on WeChat, he needed to update his WeChat profile, at least to look like a woman. But he had very few female friends on WeChat; aside from family, there were only teachers, so he had no reference at all.

Fortunately, there was a ready-made example.

The search results came up quickly.

WeChat name: Scold my idol to death [horse head]

The profile picture is Hong Shixian, and below it there is a caption: "You’re so flirtatious.?"

Did he search the wrong person?

Jing Huan searched again using the WeChat ID, and it was still this person who "cursed my idol to death [horse head]."

He hesitated for a moment, then clicked into her friend circle. Fortunately, she had set it so that strangers could view ten photos without needing to add her as a friend.

The personal profile below the avatar is: [Here to stalk your ancestors again?]

"……" Jing Huan silently scrolled down.

The first post in the Moments: [Idiots are really something, telling me not to hype my own idol, do you want me to hype you instead? [Horse head emoji] [Question mark]]

The second post: [What kind of crappy new outfit did Jiuxia release? Wearing it makes you look twenty pounds fatter! If the art team can't do it, get lost and let me take over [OK]]?

Article 3: 【It's 2019, so why am I still encountering low-level guys on matchmaking sites who want me to quit my job, go home to be a housewife, and even ask for a 500,000 yuan dowry? Keys cost three yuan each, or ten yuan for three—do you even deserve that??】

Jing Huan: "…"

He was silent for a long moment, closed the other person's WeChat, and then went back to look at his own profile and Moments.

…I'm really such a girl.