Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 10

Jing Huan blinked, finally realizing—was he planning to solo the Demon King boss?

 

Jing Huan didn’t waste his night yesterday. After shutting down his computer, he specifically searched for videos of players from other servers tackling hidden quests.

 

One word, difficult.

 

Five elite PvP players barely managed to defeat the boss after exhausting all their potions. By the time the boss fell, the ground was littered with corpses, and the only surviving player was left with a sliver of health—a truly brutal battle.

 

Where on earth did this « Heart’s Yearning » get the confidence to think he could solo the Demon King?

 

And they even let him AFK on the spot?

 

Who do they think they’re looking down on?

 

« Brother, isn’t this a bit inappropriate… » He sneered and turned on the mic, « I can’t let you go kill monsters alone. »

 

Xiang Huaizhi was checking the medicine on his body to see if anything was missing and didn’t catch the poorly concealed sarcasm in the girl’s tone: « It’s fine, get ready to turn into a card. »

 

Transformation cards are essential items that allow players to temporarily transform into summoned creatures in the game within a time limit, temporarily boosting their attributes.

 

Each transformation card has different effects, with the Nine-Tailed Immortal Fox card being the most suitable for the Fox Immortal Cave, increasing movement speed by 15.

 

Just as Jing Huan finished transforming, a notification suddenly flashed from a friend.

 

[Friend] Energized Mosquito Coil: [Jiuxia Live Stream Link: Longing for the Ex-Wife, Live Broadcast of the Mirror Flower, Water Moon Demon King Quest.]

 

[Friend] Energized Mosquito Coil: Little sister… come take a look.

 

As soon as Jing Huan entered the live stream, she heard a sweet, loli-like voice.

 

Everyone must have heard about ‘Heart’s Yearning’ and my situation, so please stop bringing up my sore spots in the livestream.

 

The voice sounded extremely familiar. Jing Huan glanced at the mic order in the livestream and, sure enough, the host of this stream was none other than Xian Mengmeng.

 

He couldn’t help but find it amusing—he had used the name he so admired to draw attention in his livestream title, yet now he wouldn’t even let people mention it?

 

What kind of person is Xian Xiang Wang Zhi? Well… when we first got together, he was very considerate and thoughtful. He would log into my account every day to help me with daily quests and dungeons, take me sightseeing, and set off fireworks for me… » Xian Mengmeng answered the audience’s questions leisurely. « Let’s not talk about meeting in person, or I’ll start crying… Are you asking about Xiao Tian Jing?

 

Xian Mengmeng chuckled, not bothering to hide the disdain in her voice. « She’s a female scammer who cheated our guild’s veterans out of their equipment. Her character is terrible—everyone in the server knows about her. Now she’s practically public enemy number one. Who knows if someone might PK her after we finish the Demon King raid? »

 

Jing Huan had only listened once before and didn’t find anything special, but after hearing it a few more times, she realized that Xian Mengmeng’s voice was truly sweet and charming.

 

It can be called the dream voice of every otaku!

 

Jing Huan looked at his sound card settings with frustration. Although the sound card changed his voice into a female one, it wasn’t the least bit sweet! With this voice, he probably couldn’t even fool Lu Wenhao, let alone attract the one he longed for.

 

In the game, Heart’s Yearning had already led him to Luojia Mountain. Behind their team trailed a massive crowd, so dense that even the game IDs were hard to make out.

 

He turned off the live stream and said in a strained voice, « Brother, there are so many people following us. I’m so nervous… »

 

The person she admired walked ahead without paying her any attention.

 

Huaizhi was least skilled at comforting young girls, so he simply remained silent.

 

Jing Huan propped her chin on her hand and said, « Brother, did you collect all these herbs for me? Their quality is so high, it must have taken you a long time. Aren’t you busy? »

 

Are you working or still in school?

 

Brother, how long have you been playing this game?

 

Brother…

 

« A few years. » Xiang Huaizhi answered vaguely, cutting her off mid-sentence.

 

Jing Huan gritted his teeth.

 

What’s this guy’s deal? You take other girls to see the scenery and set off fireworks, but with me, you barely even say a word?

 

What’s the matter, no sweet voice means no human rights, huh?

 

Finally standing before the Demon King, Xiang Huaizhi said, « Leave the team and type ‘nc’ to claim your attribute bonus. »

 

« Okay, brother. »

 

The demon king had a spider-like appearance, pitch-black and utterly unsettling to look at.

 

Jing Huan left the party, opened the NC interface for a glance, and couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

As the top contributor of materials in the Idler’s Pavilion, he could practically feel their agony through the screen.

 

After claiming the attribute bonus, he rejoined the party once more.

 

Xiang Huaizhi was just about to ask if he had received it when someone in the queue spoke up.

 

[Current] Little Sweet Scenery: Wow, a 50-point attribute bonus [star-eyed]! Thanks to all the major guilds for your support, especially the Idle Pavilion for contributing the highest proportion of materials. Thank you, Idle Pavilion, for your dedication to me~ [heart gesture]

 

向淮之：“……”

 

That was a bit too cheeky.

 

[Current] Destiny Peach Tea: …

 

[Current] Deep in the woods, a deer appears: ???

 

[Current] Spring Xiao: [Smile]

 

[Current] Don’t Ask When I’ll Return: Do you have something to say?

 

« It’s open. » Worried she might get ambushed by idlers, Xiang Huaizhi tossed out those words before directly diving into battle.

 

Killing a boss is different from regular PvP—players are forcibly pulled into a combat scenario. This time, the system assigned them a gloomy cave as their battlefield.

 

Quite fitting for a spider’s aesthetic.

 

Jing Huan sat with one leg arrogantly crossed over the other, like some pampered lord: « It’s so dark in here, I can’t see a thing… Big bro, what do we do now? »

 

Xiang Huai remained calm and unhurried, first checking the boss’s attributes.

 

Sure enough, it was just as he had thought.

 

Since it was a two-player boss, the difficulty of the battle would definitely be significantly reduced. Given that the team couldn’t simultaneously have healers, mages, sealers, supports, and DPS, the boss was bound to have weaknesses.

 

This giant spider’s weaknesses were—no healing abilities, weak physical attacks, and no support skills.

 

On the contrary, spiders deal extremely high spell damage, resist crowd control, and can even cast sealing spells themselves.

 

« Dodge. » As Xiang Huaizhi’s voice fell, the spider suddenly reared its head and violently spat out a web.

 

The web was aimed straight at Jing Huan. Xiang Huaizhi frowned slightly, about to warn her to dodge, but she had already leaped high into the air, evading the web effortlessly.

 

Xiang Huaizhi let out a sigh of relief and began surveying the nearby terrain.

 

Their luck was terrible—they just had to be assigned the eerie cave map.

 

The eerie cave is a straight-line map, empty inside with nothing but scattered rocks.

 

This means there’s absolutely nowhere for Xiao Tianjing to hide in the map.

 

Jing Huan also noticed this. The spiderweb remained entangled on the ground for six seconds before disappearing. If one were accidentally sealed twice by it, there would be virtually no chance of survival.

 

He picked up a grape, took a bite, and the sweetness spread through his mouth: « Wuwuwu, brother, what should we do? There’s nowhere to hide… »

 

The boss had already begun its area-of-effect attack. Xiang Huaizi dodged the fireball with a leap, drew his longsword, and thrust it right into the boss’s face, dealing a critical hit right from the start: « Don’t worry, just try to dodge. If we die, we’ll just start over and kill it again. »

 

In the live stream, Xian Mengmeng laughed so hard that her whole body shook.

 

« Look, all the damage is being dealt by Heart’s Desire, while Little Sweet Scenery just keeps running around in circles… They’ll probably wipe in less than ten minutes. »

 

« Little Sweet Scenery’s gameplay? Of course it’s terrible. In the past, her account was played by the veterans in our guild. When she plays herself, she even dies in dungeons. »

 

That time I got countered was just me being careless—I missed a crucial heal, otherwise there’s no way she could’ve taken me down.

 

She might’ve stood a chance playing as Putuo Mountain for healing, but she switched to Fox Fairy Cave instead—a class where even basic teammate heals require skill… Seriously, what a dumb move.

 

As soon as the words were spoken, Little Sweet Scene, who had been dodging the boss’s skills, suddenly turned around and placed a blood pool in the southwest direction.

 

The healing skills of other support classes target allies directly without missing. Only the Fox Immortal Cave’s skills require precise positioning—if aimed incorrectly, the skill is wasted. This demands high player awareness, especially in PvP scenarios where teammates are constantly moving rather than standing still waiting for heals.

 

Xian Mengmeng smiled and said, « Look here… »

 

Before she could finish speaking, she saw Heart’s Yearning descend from the sky, landing squarely on the blood pool and restoring a small portion of his health bar.

 

Xian Mengmeng’s smile froze, and after a long pause, she finally said, « …What incredible luck. It must have been drawn here by the blood pool, guided by its own desires. »

 

But soon, she found herself speechless.

 

Ten minutes later, every blood pool Little Sweet Scene conjured landed precisely beneath Heart’s Yearning’s feet.

 

Once or twice could still be chalked up to skill and a strong will, but over a dozen times… No one could possibly divert their attention to catch the blood pool while locked in a fierce battle with the boss.

 

What surprised her the most was—after all this time fighting, Little Sweet Scenery had remained at full health the entire time!

 

[Current] Destiny Peach Tea: Holy shit? That blood pool throw was insane!

 

[Current] Love Without Reason: …Is this some kind of script hack?

 

[Current] Phantom Breeze: So was it Heart’s Yearning who caught it well or Little Sweet Scenery who threw it perfectly?

 

[Current] Melting Snow: Isn’t the most insane thing Little Sweet Scenery’s dodging?! Not a single drop of health lost—that’s just ridiculous!

 

[Current] Silent Pulse: What’s the big deal? Isn’t that normal? She had a 50-point speed boost. If Heart’s Desire hadn’t gone in to deal damage, he wouldn’t have taken any hits either.

 

[Current] Fragrant Mosquito: God Desire’s DPS is just fucking insane…

 

Outsiders may not distinguish, but insiders know it all too well.

 

Lu Hang stared intently at the game screen, exclaiming in amazement.

 

Xiang Huaizhi took another bite of the delicious blood pool and couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. « Thanks, » he said.

 

Jing Huan said sweetly, ‘You’re welcome, big bro~’

 

Actually, dropping a blood pool wasn’t difficult for Jing Huan. His skill predictions were always accurate, and most of the time, his gaze was fixed on Heart’s Desire.

 

Gotta admit, even though the scumbag was trashy, his gameplay was top-notch—able to deal maximum damage while dodging most of the boss’s attacks.

 

If it were anyone else, they’d probably have been knocked flat by the boss long ago, with no amount of healing able to save them.

 

Half an hour later, the boss finally enraged, which meant it was down to its last 5% health.

 

« Be careful, » Xiang Huaizhi said, « it’s about to unleash its ultimate move. »

 

No sooner had he spoken than the spider demon suddenly leaped high, and countless tiny spiders swarmed in like a dense tide!

 

The crowd watching from outside instantly erupted in excitement.

 

[Current] Super Love Lulu: What the?! This skill animation is so disgusting! I curse the Nine Heroes’ art team!!

 

[Current] The Wind Is Freer Than Me: What kind of skill is this? Never seen it before!

 

[Current] Don’t Ask About My Return: The official website updated the boss info two minutes ago! This is the Spider Demon’s ultimate move—if the baby spiders hit a player, they’ll be sealed and take triple damage!

 

[Current] Silent Pulse: Haha, so that means a team wipe?

 

« Damn, isn’t this cheating? They’re giving players zero time to prepare! » Lu Hang slammed the table.

 

It’s fine. » Xiang Huaizhi remained calm. « Now that we know the trick, we can just restart if the team gets wiped. No big deal.

 

A few seconds later, the spider horde vanished, allowing the players to finally see the situation on the map clearly.

 

They saw Xiao Tianjing crouching low, her clawed gauntlets firmly planted in the soil… forming a magic shield just large enough to protect the two of them.

 

This is widely regarded by players as the most underwhelming shield skill in the Fox Immortal Cave—its range is minuscule, charging time is lengthy, and it can only be cast right beneath the caster’s feet.

 

For most players, the effort to activate this shield would be better spent dodging attacks outright.

 

But now, Little Sweet Scenery used this seemingly useless skill to safely protect Heart’s Yearning.

 

This means Xiaotianjing had to jump behind Heart’s Desire before the boss unleashed its ultimate move and start charging four seconds in advance to pull off such a maneuver.

 

The channel fell into instant silence, with Lu Hang slightly parting his lips, speechless for a long while.

 

Only Xiang Huaizhi curled the corners of his mouth and murmured softly, « Beautiful. »

 

Jing Huan snapped back to reality, feeling a slight numbness tingling at his fingertips.

 

It had been ages since he’d had such an intense gaming session—it truly drained him. Blocking that ultimate move at the end was just a desperate attempt, more out of curiosity than confidence.

 

Phew, I guessed right.

 

Damn, I’m so awesome, Jing Huan thought to himself.

 

With skills like his, who needs admiration? He can solo the boss all by himself, can’t he?

 

Ah. » Feeling his heartbeat quicken, even his tone was laced with joy as he cheered insincerely, « Big brother praised me!

 

With a nimble leap, Heart’s Yearning raised his longsword high and drove it straight into the spider’s head. The creature let out two struggling howls before collapsing with a thunderous crash—

 

[System Message: Congratulations to Sweet Scenery and Heart’s Desire for successfully sealing the troublesome Demon King, earning the title « Demon King Slayer. »]

 

The moment the spider demon fell, a large treasure chest immediately burst forth beside it.

 

Ignoring the crowd’s gasps and doubts, Xiang Huaizhi said, « Go pick it up. »

 

Jing Huan was taken aback: « Huh? Me pick it up? »

 

Hmm.

 

The most thrilling moment of defeating a boss is undoubtedly opening the rewards.

 

Jing Huan quickly maneuvered the character in front of the treasure chest and abruptly sat down—

 

[Current]SweetScenery: This devout woman vows to be a lifelong vegetarian, praying only for god-tier equipment, beast souls, enchantment orbs, divine artifact blueprints, dragon claw marks…[knocking wooden fish]

 

[Current] Longing in my heart: ……

 

[Current] Destiny Peach Tea: …

 

[Current]SpringXiao: « … »

 

[Current]LuluLover: « … »

 

After completing the process, Jing Huan moved the cursor with eager anticipation and gently clicked the left button—

 

« Congratulations on successfully sealing the present-world demon king, the ‘Spider Spirit’! After the Spider Spirit packed up and went home, it left behind a ‘Fragrant Steamed Bun (low-grade medicine, restores 100 HP upon use)’ as a gift for you, young hero. Please accept it with a smile! »

 

Jing Huan: « ………… »

 

Jing Huan: « Huh?? »

 

Jing Huan: « What the—?! »

 

Jing Huan: « g, your mom… »

 

向淮之：“咳。”

 

Jing Huan was about to unleash a torrent of curses, but the words stuck in her throat. Swallowing them back with a mix of anger and grievance, she changed her tune: « …May your mom always pay more for groceries! »

 

Still not satisfied in the end, « Everything’s outrageously expensive! Super doubled!!! »