Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 07
By the time the other four teammates arrived at the scene, what they saw was Xiao Tianjing rushing toward Heart’s Desire.
The way he called out « big brother » sent a tingling numbness straight to Lu Hang’s heart: « You sure you don’t know him? »
In the game, after joining a party, players have two options: either let their character automatically follow the party leader without manual control, or operate independently within a restricted movement range.
Xiang Huaizhi pressed the shortcut key to cancel follow mode, leaning back just in time to dodge the person dropping from above: « Don’t know them. »
Jing Huan never expected Xiang Huaizhi to catch him, so in the seconds before landing, he used a jump to push off the nearby cliff edge, landing unscathed right in front of Heart’s Desire.
He glanced briefly at Heart’s Desire’s team—hmm, a full three healers.
Sacrificing monster-slaying efficiency just to flirt with girls—what a player move.
Mentally grumbling, Jing Huan maneuvered his in-game character to dawdle behind Heart’s Desire, adopting a pitiful tone: « Big Brother War God… someone’s chasing me. »
The people from the Idle Pavilion happened to hear his words and quickly exchanged a flurry of messages within their team.
« Longing for it? How could he be in the wild map? »
« Haven’t you seen the three girls in the team? Probably chasing skirts, tsk, Xianxian is really pitiful. » The warlock paused, « But… this little Tianjing has such a sweet voice. »
« Nonsense, otherwise how do you think that big shot in the gang fell?! But what’s her relationship with Heart’s Yearning again? »
« I don’t know. What should we do now? If Xin Xiangwangzhi makes a move, we probably can’t win… »
Because there were penalties for being counter-killed, the team members hesitated, standing in place without making a move.
« ……Hold on, let me ask. » The mage said, switching the channel to the current one.
Towards… my heart yearns for it. » He swallowed the words « towards the gods, » « Do you know her? She just blew up Xianxian’s equipment.
Xiang Huaizhi frowned.
[Current] Heart’s Desire: Who is Xianxian?
The crowd: « … »
Everyone present except Lu Hang froze in place, the prolonged silence seemingly screaming one word— »Scumbag. »
[Current] Sweet Scenery: Immortal Mengmeng attacked me first—was I wrong to defend myself and fight back? [Question]
[Current] Sweet Scene: Big brother War God qaq, they just want to destroy the treasure map you gave me. They’re so mean.
[Current] Sweet Scenery: I won’t let them have their way!
The people present fell silent again.
Lu Hang couldn’t hold back anymore, laughing so hard he doubled over: « You’ve even exchanged tokens of love, and you still say you don’t know each other?! »
Xiang Huaizhi corrected with a dark expression, « Not giving it away. »
It was snatched, using a 79-damage skill, right from under his nose.
The people from the Idle Pavilion spoke up again: « Yearning for it, meaning you want to get involved in this matter? »
[Current] Longing for it: No.
[Current] Sweet Scene: See that?! My brother means for you to get lost right now! He might consider not killing you! [Angry]
[Current] Longing for it:?
[Current]Sweet Scene: Big bro sent a question mark, if you guys don’t run now, you’ll lose your gear! [bangs table]
The Warlock was the leader of the pursuit team. He had already been shaken by Xian Mengmeng’s equipment loss and was acting timidly. Now, seeing this, he became even more uncertain.
…Fine, you just wait.
After throwing out those words, he chanted a sect skill for half a second and swiftly led his team away from the scene.
Xiang Huaizhi, who was just about to type: « … »
With such little courage, you dare to chase after others?
In the game, the little fox spirit hopped around him and even blew him a kiss using the character’s in-game gestures.
[Current] Sweet Scenery: Thank you, brother, I was almost scared to death [crying]
Xiang Huaizhi initially wanted to say something, but paused mid-keystroke.
Forget it, why is he bothering with that female con artist?
On the contrary, it was Lu Hang who became interested.
[Current] Lu Tiaotiao: What are you scared of? With your skills, they can’t catch up to you anyway.
[Current] Sweet Scene: I was so scared earlier that I performed beyond my usual level qaq. Good thing Big brother War God was here.
[Current] Lu Tiaotiao: Wait, that treasure map—did Old Xiang really give it to you? Isn’t that thing bound?
Xiang Huaizhi frowned. « Why do you talk so much nonsense? Are we doing this dungeon or not? »
« Ah, I just want to ask a couple of questions, » Lu Hang said. « Don’t you think this woman is quite interesting? »
I don’t think so.
[Current] Sweet Scenery: Mhm, I originally planned to send any good finds to Brother War God, but I was only halfway through digging when the Idle Guild people showed up qvq
Lu Hang slapped his thigh and exclaimed, « Damn, Lao Xiang! That girl is head over heels for you! »
Xiang Huaizhi sneered, « Sure, why don’t you date her then? The kind where your account gets wiped clean. »
Xiang Huai wasn’t interested in gossip; he wouldn’t even glance at the neighborhood bulletin board on a normal day. It was Lu Hang who told him about the female scammer.
At that time, Lu Hang confidently declared: « It’s a trick, must be a trick, this account definitely hasn’t changed hands! »
No, look at what she said—whatever the treasure map digs up, it’s all yours. Haven’t you been grinding quests for days just to get those treasure maps? » Lu Hang argued. « Even if she’s a scammer, we still come out on top this time!
Xiang Huaizhi did indeed need treasure maps.
To be precise, what he needed was the rare material obtainable only through treasure maps—the Enchanting Spirit Pearl.
It’s a pity that despite completing so many missions, he only dropped a treasure map once—and it was snatched away by Little Sweet Scene.
[Current] Sweet Little Scenery: Brother, what you’re missing is the Enchantment Spirit Pearl, right? I can dig it out! [clenches fist]
[Current] Longing in my heart: ……
[Current] Endless journey: No way, how did you know?!
[Current] SweetScenery: I’ve checked the system announcements these past few days. Big bro, you’ve been grinding reincarnation quests non-stop—must be trying to hatch a spirit beast, right?
Xiang Huaizhi didn’t say anything.
He was indeed on a quest to hatch spirit beasts, and the final step required an Enchanted Spirit Pearl.
Enchanted Spirit Pearls are tradable items, but the only way to obtain them is through treasure maps—and the drop rate is quite low. At least for now, there wasn’t a single one listed in their server’s exchange.
There are some things even money can’t buy.
Jing Huan formed a party with them.
« Brother, » Jing Huan called out in a high-pitched voice, the echo in the headset making his head throb. « Want to go dig up treasure maps together? If you don’t come, I’m afraid I’ll get killed again soon… »
Xiang Huaizhi wasn’t insisting that she return the treasure map to him.
But if what she said was true, and the treasure map was lost after being hunted down by the Idle Pavilion members, then all those days and nights he spent grinding quests would have been for nothing.
After hesitating for a moment, he left the party and requested to join Little Sweet Scenery’s team: « I’m heading over. »
Digging for treasure sounded thrilling, and Lu Hang wanted to join in the fun too: « Hey, girl, take me along while you’re at it… »
Before he could finish speaking, Little Sweet Scenery had already dashed out of sight with Xiang Huai in tow.
« Damn, is it that hard to coax a grown man? Would it kill you to get in my car? » Jing Huan muttered under his breath while glaring at the team member.
[Team] Little Sweet Jing: Brother War God, what quest were you just doing?
[Team] Heart’s Desire: Open-world dungeon.
[Team] Little Sweet Jing: Oh, got it.
[Team]SweetScenery: Won’t it be hard to clear the dungeon with three healers? lol
[Team]Heart’sDesire: No.
Hah, of course not. With three girls running dungeons with you, you must be grinning ear to ear behind your screen, you damn playboy.
[Party] Little Sweet Scenery: ‘Right, I forgot! Big bro is a top-tier DPS!’ [Heart eyes]
In order to watch them dig up the treasure map, Lu Hang reluctantly gave up the three potential wives in the team and got off the bed to sit next to Xiang Huaizhi.
« Lao Xiang, spill it—when exactly did you meet SweetScenery? What did you do to make her so devoted to you? »
Xiang Huaizhi: ‘Seriously don’t know her. Would I lie for money?’
Lu Hang eyed him suspiciously.
Xiang Huaizhi: ‘…Saw her once on a wild map. She stole my Rogue.’
Lu Hang was shocked: « Is there really someone in this world who can steal your kill? »
I was on the phone and didn’t notice. » Xiang Huaizhi hesitated, « And I originally thought she was a guy.
Lu Hang: « ? »
Xiang Huaizhi looked at Little Fox Fairy, who kept showering rainbow praises in the team channel: « What girl these days talks like that? »
[Team] Sweet Little Scene: War God brother, your character’s face is so well-designed! What kind of skillful and beautiful hands could create such an in-game avatar? [star-eyed]
[Team]Sweet Scenery: We’re almost at the treasure map coordinates, I’m so nervous.
[Team]Sweet Scenery: [Anyone there?]
[Team] Little Sweet Scene: Sigh, even when big brother doesn’t speak, he’s still so handsome qvq
Lu Hang chuckled: « I think… it’s kinda cute? »
Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t be bothered to deal with him.
A friend’s message suddenly lit up, and Xiang Huaizhi casually clicked to open it.
[Friend] Fairy Mengmeng: You’re actually in the same team as that female scammer?
[Friend] Fairy Mengmeng: Hehe, beggars can’t be choosers?
[Friend] Xian Mengmeng: She just destroyed my equipment, do you know that?
Xiang Huaizhi glanced at it and closed the dialog box directly.
Lu Hang: « Hey, at least reply with something. »
No reply. Too much trouble.
Lu Hang was puzzled: « Does she even know that your account wasn’t operated by you a few months ago? »
She knows.
He had already said everything he needed to say to Xian Mengmeng.
But Xian Mengmeng just wouldn’t believe him, insisting he was playing a disappearing act to avoid responsibility, and even exaggerated the story while spreading it around.
Lu Hang was about to say something more when his phone suddenly rang. He answered with a couple of words and walked out of the dormitory.
Brother War God, » came a girl’s voice through the headset. Xiao Tianjing asked cautiously, « Are you there? We’ve reached the treasure map coordinates.
[Team] Heart’s Desire: Yeah.
[Team]SweetScenery: Then I’m going to dig.
[Team]Heart’s Desire: 1
Since it was a team effort, after Jing Huan activated the treasure map, the two game characters in the party started digging the ground together.
Jing Huan took a sip from the water cup beside him, pondering how to get Heart’s Desire to add him as a friend.
Jing Huan never even considered the possibility of digging up something good—his legendary bad luck meant he could even turn a divine weapon into a piece of absolute trash.
Enchantment Spirit Pearl? Was he even worthy?
The treasure-hunting progress bar vanished before Jing Huan could react, when a glaring line of yellow text abruptly popped up on the game screen—
[Your shovel collapsed a demon’s house, enraging the Reclusive Demon King (Mount Luojia 13272)! Proceed to seal it immediately! [Required Players: Little Sweet Jing, Heart’s Desire. Time limit: 48 hours.]]
[System Announcement: Astonishing News! Players Little Sweet Jing and Heart’s Desire accidentally destroyed a demon’s house while treasure hunting at Mount Luojia. The now-homeless Demon King is wreaking havoc at Mount Luojia 13272!]
[Server-wide Announcement: Players Little Sweet Jing and Heart’s Desire from the Mirror Flower Water Moon server have triggered the hidden quest [Wrath of the Demon King] from the Thief’s Treasure Map.]
