Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 06
After turning off the friend function, the entire game interface became much quieter.
Xiang Huaizhi flew to the Warehouse Messenger and stuffed all the newly received golden sparrow feathers inside.
Suddenly, a head popped out from the upper bunk: « Scumbag, how many feathers have you collected? »
Hearing this address, Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even turn his head: « What, feel like taking a trip to the respawn point? »
Lu Hang immediately stopped, « Tsk, you’re no fun at all. Come on, get to the point—how many feathers have you collected? »
« Enough, » Xiang Huaizhi said. « From now on, put away your own things. »
It’s because my account got restricted for logging in from a different location… This happens every time I come back from a long break, you know that. » Lu Hang logged into the game while talking, only realizing something was off mid-sentence. « Wait, I just asked you to collect feathers for me ten minutes ago—how did you finish so fast?! How much did you pay for them?
Xiang Huaizhi replied, « One hundred gold. »
Lu Hang was furious: « They’re selling for seventy gold everywhere in the marketplace! And you paid one hundred?! »
Everywhere? Go check the Merchant Guild—if you can find a hundred of them, I’ll give you my account.
Forging a divine artifact only takes a hundred!
Xiang Huaizhi raised an eyebrow. « One try? Do you think the game is your family’s business? You might not even get a decent one after ten tries. »
Lu Hang’s right eyelid kept twitching: « …So just how much did you actually take? »
« I don’t know. »
No exact count, but there must be at least a warehouse full.
Lu Hang took a sharp breath, calmly picked up his phone, and checked his bank balance.
« Don’t worry, I’ll count these as my own collection—selling them to you for seventy each, » Xiang Huaizhi said nonchalantly.
Lu Hang clenched his fist. « Damn, I’ll never call you a scumbag again! You’re my bro, forever my bro. »
Xiang Huaizhi chuckled, « Get lost. »
Lu Hang: « By the way, I almost forgot to interview you—how does it feel to be a scumbag? »
« Pretty good. »
“……”
Lu Hang looked unconvinced, but Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t be bothered to explain.
He wasn’t lying; it’s actually quite good. During this time, no K teams have reached out to him, no gangs have tried to recruit him, and even the number of girls sending him friend requests has decreased.
Your friend Lu Tiaotiao is now online.
Hey! The remote login restriction has been lifted! I can team up now! » Lu Hang shouted from the opposite bed after logging in. « Come on, I’ll take you to grind quests. There’s an event happening right now.
During the event period, experience points were doubled. Xiang Huaizhi gave a quiet « Mhm » and accepted Lu Hang’s party invitation.
In Nine Heroes, apart from special events and high-level dungeons which required multiple players, most regular activities like daily quests and PvP were designed for five-player teams. When Xiang Huaizhi checked the party, he saw that besides the two of them, the other three members were all female players.
[Heart’s yearning joins the team.]
[Team] Little Luoluo: « …… »
[Team] Love is Sharing Food with You: [Dizzy]
[Team] Ji Xiaonian: Uh…
[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: What’s wrong?
[Team] Love is Sharing with You: No, Lulu, is this your friend?
[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: Yeah, my good buddy, Heart’s Yearning—you guys don’t know him? His name is right there on the leaderboard.
[Team]Ji Xiaonian: …Even if we didn’t know him before, we sure do now [shut up]
Lu Hang’s booming laughter came from the side: “Hahaha, Lao Xiang, I feel like after all this commotion, you’ve become even more famous in the server than before!”
Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t be bothered to respond. He opened his inventory to check the potions he was carrying.
Ahem. » Lu Hang put on his earphones, cleared his throat twice, then deliberately lowered his voice and asked, « Can you hear me?
For the convenience of communication, Jiuxia has a built-in voice system.
Xiang Huaizhi was so startled by the sudden deep male voice that he got goosebumps.
He frowned slightly and took off one side of his earphones.
Ah… I can hear you.
Shall we go tackle the new event? Is it difficult?
What should I do if I can’t kill it?
As soon as he heard the girl’s voice, Lu Hang became instantly energized: « No worries, I’m here. I won’t let you die. Just kill the small mobs ahead freely, and when we reach the boss, you can hide behind me. »
Before the girls could respond, Xiang Huaizhi said, « Lu Hang, mute your mic first. »
Lu Hang replied, « It’s fine, I’m using push-to-talk. They can’t hear you. »
What kind of people did you invite? » Xiang Huaizi opened their profiles—two of them hadn’t even reached max level, and most importantly, « Three healers? What, didn’t get enough milk as a kid?
Hey, I checked the event—it’s not that hard, » Lu Hang said. « No choice, I gotta bring my wife along. Just help a brother out.
Xiang Huaizi paused, « Which one is your wife? »
Lu Hang replied calmly, « That’s still up in the air. »
向淮之：“……”
——
The Nine Heroes would launch corresponding holiday events during festivals, each with unique gameplay, but all sharing the common traits of abundant experience points and generous rewards.
While other players were busy grinding events, a little fox spirit who had been idling in the main city suddenly sprang into action.
The fox spirit swiftly packed up her stall, hopped onto her mount in a flash, and galloped full speed to the courier station before heading out to the wild maps.
Jing Huan was practically bursting with impatience.
It wasn’t that he was impatient to grind for experience—after playing Nine Heroes for so long, he had never been one to enjoy idly farming tasks.
He wanted to dig up the treasure map he had « snatched » the other day.
The Thief’s Treasure Map was a rare item with an extremely low drop rate. Back in the day, even after grinding for over half a month with his notoriously bad luck, he hadn’t managed to loot a single one.
According to official information, the Bandit’s Treasure Map can yield many unexpected items. Jing Huan has seen people dig out worthless health-restoring buns, as well as rare materials that are hard to come by even with vast sums of money. It is precisely this unpredictability that makes people feel both tense and excited.
Meanwhile, in the idle guild’s chat room—
[Guild] Blood Shadow: Report! My alt spotted Little Sweet Scenery by the West Liang River!
[Guild] Silent Pulse: Damn it, this female scammer specifically leaves the city when we’re busy grinding events.
[Guild] Spring Xiao: I’m still in combat, can’t make it. Anyone in the guild free to go?
[Guild] Fairy Mengmeng: I’ll go. Anyone wanna come with? I’m a bit scared alone…[fidgets fingers]
[Guild] Silent Pulse: Don’t worry, Xianxian. That account’s empty, you can easily kill her.
[Guild] Xian Mengmeng: I know… It’s just my first time killing someone, so I can’t help feeling scared. [Pitiful] If it weren’t for my hatred towards those who deceive others’ feelings, I wouldn’t have gotten involved.
[Guild] Maimei Silent: Haha, then go ahead. It’s a good way to vent your anger.
Xian Mengmeng quickly formed a five-member team and flew to the banks of Xiliang River.
When they arrived, they saw Xiao Tianjing’s character holding a shovel… tilling the land.
She’s digging up a treasure map! » someone in the team shouted. « Interrupt her now! If we kill her, we might even loot the treasure map!
So, just as Jing Huan was halfway through digging, an attack skill forcefully interrupted her.
Annoyed, he frowned and, without even getting a clear look at his attacker, immediately used a clone skill to escape.
The reason he switched factions wasn’t just because the Fox Immortal Cave’s gameplay was fun—what really mattered was how ridiculously good this faction was at running away. Not only did it have high movement speed, but it also had all sorts of decoy skills, making it top-tier for escaping. As a result, the most common tactic for Fox Immortal Cave players in the arena was abandoning their teammates.
The people behind reacted a beat slower than him; he was almost out of the picture before they realized they should give chase.
Just as Jing Huan was about to step into the safe zone, she suddenly heard a voice behind her: « It’s okay, Xianxian. We didn’t get her this time, but I’ll come back with you to ambush her next time. We’ll keep at it until you’re satisfied. »
Looks like they forgot to set the voice chat range to team-only.
In the game, the adult female character with swaying fox tails suddenly halted her movement.
Jing Huan turned around and, sure enough, among the team chasing her stood a loli character with the in-game ID « Xian Mengmeng. »
Haha, she actually turned back. Did the game lag or something?
Damn, how is she so fast…
Whatever, disconnecting is even better. If she disconnects, she can’t manually return to the respawn point. We can camp and wait for her to revive, then keep killing her. » The team’s Beastmaster immediately summoned his pet. « Quick, Warlock, seal her first.
The Warlock immediately threw out a sealing talisman, but before the talisman could reach its target, the opponent leaped up and summoned a Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit.
The mage in the team laughed, « What do you mean? She still wants to fight back? »
Where did you trick another nine-tailed celestial fox from?
At that moment, Xian Mengmeng suddenly spoke on the mic, « Little Sweet Scene, just stand still and let us kill you once, and I won’t camp your corpse. Just stop scamming people in the future—it really makes us women look bad. »
Teammate: « Haha, Xianxian, your words are just too soft and cute. »
« Stop laughing, » Xian Mengmeng said shyly. « I’m seriously trying to persuade her. »
As soon as the words fell, Little Sweet Jing made another move.
She gathered strength for half a second, and a sealing spiderweb leaped from her palm, rushing straight toward them. The mage and warlock standing at the front instinctively sidestepped.
The spiderweb passed right through them, heading straight behind—and struck the team’s healing monk.
The monk was taken aback, but before he could react, Little Sweet Jing vanished in an instant.
« It’s Stealth Teleport! Dodge now! » The warlock in the team realized what was happening and shouted.
But his warning came too late.
Xian Mengmeng had been leisurely casting buffs on her teammates just moments ago, but in the blink of an eye, she found herself entangled in spider webs.
She froze in confusion: « What is this?! »
« It’s over, break free quickly—click the left mouse button now! This is a debuff that can seal and reduce your character’s stats… » The warlock was stunned.
How did this person manage to execute an instant web combo, layering so many strands of spider silk in just a few seconds?!
Xian Mengmeng panicked: « I can’t break free… »
Just then, the Nine-Tailed Fox, following its master’s command, spewed flames toward the spot where Xian Mengmeng stood.
Xian Mengmeng’s equipment wasn’t great to begin with, and with so many debuff stacks on her, that single fire spell burned away her last bit of health.
[System Announcement: Player Xian Mengmeng was accidentally killed during forced PvP and has lost her Jade Silk Ribbon.]
As the announcement appeared, Little Sweet Scenery turned around and fled once more. Only then did the others realize—this person never intended to counterattack from the start! Their goal was to trade for one of their teammates!
Snapping out of their shock, the group couldn’t help but curse before sprinting after her!
Holy shit. » On the other end of the map, Lu Hang widened his eyes and exclaimed, « Lao Xiang, did you see that move just now?!
Xiang Huaizhi remained silent.
They finished their tasks early and are now taking turns scouting the wilderness; they saw that counterattack just now clearly.
The operation of this Fox Immortal Cave is indeed very impressive.
But… who can tell him why the name of this fox fairy cave is called Xiaotianjing?
Lu Hang continued, « Tsk tsk tsk, so many layers of nets. Even the top-ranked fox spirit on the Shui Se server might not be able to pull this off, right? »
As long as his opponent isn’t me, he can perform well. » Xiang Huaizhi withdrew his gaze, « Are we still grinding the quest or not?
We are. Wait—don’t you want to watch a bit more?
No.
Fine then.
Lu Hang lightly clicked his mouse, about to leave the wilderness map, when he saw the little fox spirit ahead suddenly turn around to dodge a warlock’s skill and charge straight toward them.
Huh? She’s coming this way! » Lu Hang narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the screen. « Wait… Xiao Tianjing… Why does that name sound familiar?
A female teammate reminded him, « That’s the female scammer being hunted down by the Idle Pavilion. »
Lu Hang suddenly realized: « Oh right! It’s her! Seriously… since when did female scammers level up their skills this much? »
Xiang Huaizhi looked at the little fox fairy flying towards them and suddenly remembered the wild monster that had been snatched that day, feeling a faint unease in his heart: « Are we going or not? »
Lu Hang: « Let’s go, we’re going now, what’s the rush… »
« Ah. » An unfamiliar female voice suddenly pierced through the duo’s headphones.
It wasn’t an overly sweet voice, but rather clear and crisp, inexplicably soothing to the ears.
At this moment, the voice was brimming with surprise and excitement.
Brother—
Lu Hang froze, taking a long moment to realize the voice was coming from Xiao Tian Jing.
Lu Hang: « …Who is she calling? »
Xiang Huaizhi: « No idea. »
As soon as the words were spoken, Little Tianjing suddenly turned mid-air and, accompanied by her small white fox, lunged straight toward Heart’s Yearning—
Brother War God! Save me, pleeeeeease—
Xiang Huaizhi, the only one in the district with the title of « God of War »: « …… »
