Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 02

Jing Huan, of course, didn’t get the voice changer link. The other party threw out a line, « After all we’ve loved each other, and this is how you humiliate me? » before blacklisting Lu Wenhao’s QQ.

Upon hearing this, Lu Wenhao froze for a few seconds before breaking down: « What the hell? He blacklisted me? He dares to blacklist me first?! I’m gonna dox him! I’ll fight him to the death! »

Doxing is illegal, it’s not worth it, Hao’er, » Gao Zixiang said with a headache. « Alright, what’s done is done, just forget about it. In this life, who doesn’t face some setbacks, right?

Lu Wenhao: « Is this a setback for me? »

It’s a tribulation. Once you get through this, your life will be set, » Jing Huan replied. « Hao’er, which server is your gaming account on again?

« Match made in heaven, » Lu Wenhao reported the district name, picked up a tissue to blow his nose, and asked, « What’s wrong? »

Jing Huan shook his head: « It’s nothing. »

He opened the half-packed suitcase and put all the clutter from the table into it.

Lu Wenhao moved his chair and sat beside him: « Huanhuan, are you moving out today? I’m already so miserable, won’t you stay and keep me company for a few more days? »

The school rules are strict, treating a group of college students like high schoolers, with curfews and power outages every night. If it weren’t for the rule that freshmen aren’t allowed to live off-campus, Jing Huan would have moved out long ago.

So as soon as he became a sophomore, he quickly rented an apartment near the school.

No need to stay. I’m afraid you’ll be annoyed by the sight of any man these days.

By the time Jing Huan finished packing, Gao Zixiang had just finished a self-heating hotpot. He stood up and said, « Huanhuan, let me help you move. »

Jing Huan locked the suitcase: « No need, I’ve called a small tricycle; it’s waiting downstairs. »

Gao Zixiang insisted, « Then let me help you carry it downstairs. »

Since school had just started a few days ago, and he planned to replace the bedding and such with new ones after arriving, Jing Huan didn’t have much luggage, making it more than enough for him to move by himself.

In the hallway, Gao Zixiang held Jing Huan’s laptop and tentatively asked, « Huanhuan, are you okay? »

Jing Huan raised an eyebrow: « What’s wrong with me? »

Gao Zixiang and Jing Huan had a solid friendship; they had been classmates since middle school, so Gao Zixiang was quite familiar with his situation.

Jing Huan came from a well-off family, was handsome, and easy to get along with—a true golden boy. If there was one thing particularly peculiar about him, it was his siscon trait.

Sister Jing Huan’s name is Liang Ran. Jing Huan fought for her in middle school, bought her milk tea and delivered meals in high school, and saved her a seat in the university library—if Gao Zixiang didn’t know a bit of the inside story, he would definitely think too much of it.

It is said that when Jing Huan was a child, he was almost abducted, but Liang Ran risked his life to hold onto him, refusing to let go even when his arm was dislocated, thus pulling him back from the brink.

From that moment on, Jing Huan had only one stance—messing with him was fine, but bothering his sister was absolutely not allowed.

So when Gao Zixiang found out that Liang Ran had been emotionally deceived by a scumbag in the game and was then chased and called a homewrecker by the scumbag’s original partner all over the server, he had been worried that Jing Huan might hire someone to commit murder.

The outcome was unexpected—the other party showed no reaction at all, even calmly sending Liang Ran to the airport with a composed expression.

Huanhuan, what happened to your sister is just stuff in the game, nothing but a bunch of data. Don’t take it too seriously, » Gao Zixiang said. « She’ll definitely come back home in a while.

Jing Huan placed the luggage on the tricycle, turned back, and said, « I want to ask you something. »

Gao Zixiang: « What? »

« How did you know something happened to my sister? »

Gao Zixiang paused, his expression shifting erratically: « Just… just hearsay. »

Jing Huan frowned and said, « Tell me the truth. »

« …… » Gao Zixiang somewhat regretted following them down.

He had initially planned to gloss over it, but seeing Jing Huan’s serious expression, he didn’t dare to make things up and had to admit honestly, « That woman sent out several server-wide announcements, targeting your sister for days. I just… happened to see them. »

Jing Huan took a deep breath. « Server-wide announcements? »

Gao Zixiang quickly added, « Yes, but she hasn’t sent any in the past couple of days. I guess it’s died down now. »

Jing Huan stood for a while before saying, « Got it, you can go up now. Once I’ve tidied up the place, I’ll invite you all over for a meal. »

Gao Zixiang nodded, but still feeling uneasy, he repeated his earlier advice to Lu Wenhao: « Hey, Jing Huan, you know that cannibalism is illegal, right? »

Jing Huan got into the car: « I know. It’s all about the game. I won’t bring it into real life. »

Gao Zixiang let out a slight sigh of relief, yet something still felt off. Before he could dwell on it, the small tricycle had already set off, heading out of the school gate.

——

Jing Huan’s rented apartment spanned over a hundred square meters. It was brand new, never lived in before, and had been thoroughly cleaned by the time he arrived.

He unpacked everything from his suitcase, then turned on his computer and skillfully added « Nine Heroes » to his download queue.

By the time he stepped out of the shower, the download had just completed.

Staring at the « Nine Heroes » client icon on his desktop, he momentarily felt a sense of disorientation.

Jing Huan was no stranger to the game « Nine Heroes. » As one of its earliest beta testers, he had played it for six years since its launch a decade ago.

If it weren’t for his parents’ warning about his academic performance during his first year of high school, he wouldn’t have quit the game.

Having been away from « Nine Heroes » for nearly four years, Jing Huan’s return this time wasn’t for the game itself.

Liang Ran had recently met a man in « Nine Heroes. » Like many other gamers, they got to know each other, bonded, and started an online romance. Liang Ran valued this online boyfriend deeply, even planning to meet him in person on Valentine’s Day.

But just the day before Valentine’s Day, a woman claiming to be the rightful partner suddenly appeared. She chased Liang Ran in the world chat for several days and even posted Liang Ran’s chat logs with that scumbag on the forum, inciting countless « Nine Heroes » players to join in insulting Liang Ran. It could almost be called a small-scale cyberbullying incident.

Not only was Liang Ran « unwittingly made the other woman, » but she was also thrust into the spotlight, subjected to public scorn. Yet that scumbag never once stepped forward, letting the situation escalate unchecked.

Liang Ran had been doted on by her younger brother and elders since childhood, never having endured such humiliation. Within days of the incident, she reached her breaking point. In a fit of resolve, she deleted her gaming account and went abroad to clear her mind.

When Jing Huan learned of this, he nearly went to Shanghai to burn down the headquarters of Nine Heroes.

The more Jing Huan thought about it, the angrier he became—especially after discovering the perpetrator had even broadcasted a server-wide announcement. Unlike regular server messages, this one reached every player across all servers.

Liang Ran never mentioned this to him, probably to avoid upsetting him.

Damn! No wonder his sister deleted her account!

Jing Huan expressionlessly logged into Nine Heroes, entered the credentials for his alt account, and joined the server named « Mirage. »

It was the server where his sister played. The moment Jing Huan found out, he made up his mind—game issues should be settled in-game. He would kill that scumbag countless times until he apologized and quit the server.

But things weren’t as simple as he thought.

The fundamental reason why the game « Nine Heroes » has remained popular until now is the sheer variety of gameplay it offers. You can become a PvP master, dungeon expert, crafting artisan, guild leader, or renowned merchant in the martial world—each playstyle has its own unique charm, allowing players to choose their own path.

And every player’s dream is ultimately to climb to the top of their server’s power rankings.

There are also various types of power rankings: the elite list, the wealthy list, the popularity list, the fame list, and the faction leaders, among others.

In other districts, these leaderboards are almost entirely filled with different players, as climbing the ranks is no easy feat, and few can manage to dominate multiple lists simultaneously.

The « Mirage » server is the sole exception across all servers.

Jing Huan had previously checked the official website and found that on this server, apart from the « Guild Leader » ranking, the top spots on all other leaderboards were occupied by the same player named « Heart’s Desire. »

Just as Jing Huan logged in, he noticed two AFK players setting up stalls nearby chatting away.

[Current] Perhaps one day: It’s only been a few days since I last logged in, and that thing I longed for has already ended?

[Current] Lanbb: Yeah, that homewrecker already deleted their account and quit the game, what else could happen?

[Current]Maybe one day: Tsk tsk tsk, I was still hoping for a plot twist.

[Current]Lan bb: What kind of twist could there possibly be in this?

[Current]Maybe one day: Actually, Heart Yearns For is quite the flirt—flirts with everyone. The account isn’t marked as married either, so who knows who’s the real third wheel here.

[Current]Lan bb: …How do you know that?

[Current]Maybe One Day: Because he tried to flirt with me, but unfortunately, it was when a power leveler was on my account, haha. He also flirted with my friend—she wears the married couple title every day, yet he dared to make a move, almost driving her husband crazy…

[Current]Lan BB: There was such a thing… Did her husband say anything?

[Current]Maybe One Day: How could he dare to say anything? He can’t even win a fight. I bet even if all the Nine Heroes teamed up, they couldn’t lay a finger on him.

Jing Huan pressed the skill hotkey and, after a few seconds of casting, returned to the sect.

At the beginning of last year, the official website once released a screenshot of the character attributes that everyone admired, along with several videos of them dominating the arena. These two people weren’t wrong—across the entire Nine Heroes, probably no one could defeat him.

Jing Huan wasn’t worried about skill level. Four years ago, he had already topped the elite rankings on another server and was very confident in his abilities.

But… creating an account that surpasses the one everyone admires would take at least three years, not to mention that the opponent’s strength has been improving continuously over these years.

Because of this, Jing Huan’s first revenge plan had to be temporarily shelved.

But it’s okay.

He suddenly came up with a plan even more ruthless than forcing the opponent to quit the game.

Jing Huan opened the official exchange platform of Nine Heroes, clicked on the account filter, and began selecting keywords for the game accounts he wanted to purchase.

Server location: Illusory Moon.

Level requirement: 150, the maximum level.

Cultivation and auxiliary skills all maxed out.

Character gender, female.

Jing Huan curled her lips into a smirk as she looked at the filtered female accounts on the screen, letting out a cold laugh.

Longing in the heart, your dad has arrived.

Chapter 3: The Third Chapter

To avoid disrupting the in-game economy across different regions, « Nine Heroes » does not offer server transfer services. A character is bound to the server where it was created. If a server becomes overcrowded, the official team will close its registration channel. This rule is an outlier among similar games, yet remarkably, after a decade of operation, « Nine Heroes » has not seen a single inactive server.

Beyond that, there are few restrictions—you can switch factions, alter appearances, or even redesign your character’s facial features.

Money talks.

Since there was ample room for improvement, Jing Huan prioritized a character’s cultivation points and basic skills when selecting an account—after all, these required not just money but also considerable time investment.

Jing Huan didn’t suffer from decision paralysis. After comparing options for about ten minutes, he settled on an account priced at thirty-five thousand—a bare account with no equipment or pets included.

It suited him perfectly; he enjoyed the gradual sense of growing stronger step by step.

The payment took only half a minute.

The system needs time to transfer data, and you won’t be able to log in normally until half an hour later. During this downtime, Jing Huan opened the StarTV live stream and saw that the only streamer he followed was broadcasting. He found the person from his friend list and sent a message.

Tian Tian Kai Xin: Xiao Yan, are you free?

yanxyan: Yes, what’s up?

After graduating from high school, Jing Huan had nothing better to do, so he often played PUBG with Gao Zixiang and the others. Occasionally, he would watch live streams, and the streamer he watched the most was yanxyan, generously showering them with many gifts.

The two became friends because of money.

yanxyan: Wanna play? I’ve got three people here, perfect for a four-player squad.

Happy Everyday: Nah. I want to buy a voice changer, but the reviews on those Taobao shops aren’t great. Any recommendations?

yanxyan: Voice changer? What kind are you looking for?

Happy Everyday: One that can turn me into a loli voice, the kind that makes people cringe back three kilometers the moment I speak.

yanxyan: ……

yanxyan: ……This is a bit tricky, might need to get a sound card too. I know a few friends, let me ask around for you.

Happy Everyday: Alright, waiting for your update. Thanks.

yanxyan: No problem.

Not long after, the other party sent over the shop’s address. Jing Huan clicked in, too lazy to even glance at the product description, and directly bought the most expensive model available.

The customer service representative had seen it all before. Without a word, they remotely accessed his system and quickly adjusted his sound card settings.

Jing Huan connected his thousand-dollar microphone for a test and gave it a satisfied five-star rave review.

Now, only the final step remains—the face.

Like other online games, Nine Heroes has a character customization system. Although Jing Huan hadn’t seen what the new character looked like, a fresh start calls for a complete makeover to ensure an enjoyable gaming experience.

He opened the search bar, typed in « Nine Heroes character customization data, » picked the store with the highest ratings, and directly messaged their customer service.

Always Happy: You there?

Customer Service Chick: Yes, dear [blowing kiss], Customer Service Chick at your service.

Happy Every Day: Your username isn’t very appropriate, is it?

Customer Service Chick: …You’re overthinking it~ How may I assist you?

Happy every day: Make me a face.

Customer Service Chick: Okay dear, do you have any requirements or references?

Jing Huan didn’t have any requirements. He thought for a moment and typed.

Happy Every Day: I want a face that makes any man want to marry me at first sight.

Customer Service Rep Chick: ……

If I had that kind of skill, would I still be running this lousy Taobao shop?

Customer Service Rep Chick: Dear, could you be a bit more specific?

Happy every day: Alright then, I want something cute and lively yet sexy and alluring—not too youthful, but not too mature either. A touch of dreaminess would be perfect. Feel free to improvise with the rest.

The customer service rep on the other end of the computer took a deep breath, then turned and angrily punched the stress-relief toy next to the mouse a few times.

Customer Service Chick: Sweetie, we’re so sorry, but we probably can’t meet your request. No worries though! Taobao has many other amazing sellers—we recommend checking out this shop instead.

The customer service rep swiftly sent over the link to their rival’s store.

Jing Huan contacted four customer services in a row before finally finding a shop willing to take the order.

After spending 999 yuan to customize a face, Jing Huan opened the game with satisfaction.

Upon entering the character selection screen, he made sure to examine the facial features of the avatar.

To be honest, it was quite good-looking—one could tell the original owner had some taste. Even the in-game name was poetic: « Don’t You Frown. »

Jing Huan withdrew his gaze and entered the game.

A slender and beautiful character appeared by the Bianliang River.

The Bianliang River was a low-level wilderness map where few players bothered to kill the monsters. Small creatures were everywhere, and Jing Huan had barely taken two steps before triggering a battle.

The account he bought belonged to the Putuo Mountain faction, a fairy race healer. Since fairy female characters were more aesthetically pleasing and the faction’s skills were straightforward with minimal required actions, Putuo Mountain naturally became the top choice for many female players.

But the monster spawning rate on Putuo Mountain was slow, leaving very little room for maneuver during PK, so Jing Huan never liked this sect.

He let out a soft « tsk, » cast a skill to eliminate two monsters, and prepared to use another skill to return to his home sect.

[Xiangsi Bugou has initiated a forced PK against you.]

A talisman descended from the sky—it was the Human race’s sect skill, the Sealing Talisman.

Jing Huan was startled but reacted swiftly, dodging the talisman in the nick of time.

Just as he moved to another spot, a large net closed in on him. Caught off guard, Jing Huan was trapped firmly within its grasp.

Several figures appeared before him, their weapons gleaming—clear indicators of high-grade equipment. Among them, two crowd-control specialists were still charging up their sealing techniques.

[Current] Don’t You Frown: ??

[Current] Relentless Longing: Trash, back again looking for death?

The other party immediately lashed out with harsh words. Jing Huan quickly realized it was likely old grudges from the original owner of the account.

[Current] Don’t You Frown: The account has changed hands.

[Current] Relentless Longing: Pulling this trick again? You think we’re all fools? Falling for your lies every time?

[Current] Don’t frown:……

If it weren’t for the fact that this account still had some special uses and needed to maintain its image, he would have cursed out loud.

[Current] Don’t frown: I bought it half an hour ago, 35k, with purchase records.

[Current] Relentless Love: When have you ever had a purchase record? Let me tell you, as long as I, Relentless Love, am in this zone for a day, you’ll never step out of the safe zone!

Jing Huan wanted to say more, but the opponent had already swung their whip at him.

There were five people standing opposite him, and the account he bought was practically empty—hardly able to withstand a few hits.

Damn it.

Jing Huan straightened up and skillfully utilized the universal moves available to every character—rolling, jumping, and ascending—dodging each of their attacks one by one.

[Current] Don’t frown: You t…

[Current] Don’t frown: Can’t you be reasonable?!!

[Current] Lovesick Without Regard: I have nothing reasonable to say to a liar like you.

[Current] Don’t frown: No, this account really changed hands… What do I have to say for you to believe me?!

Just as he finished typing this line, Jing Huan accidentally hit the wrong key.

Damn it.

On the game screen, his frail character took a brutal axe hit, leaving his health bar with just a sliver remaining.

[Current] Xiangsi Bugur: Either pay back the money or die until you delevel—your choice.

With that, the opponent pressed their advantage, and Jing Huan stopped resisting, soon getting killed back to the respawn point.

Before he could even process this absurd death, a massive server announcement popped up in the bottom-left corner.

[Horn] Lovesickness Regardless: The Idle Pavilion’s 24-hour hunt is on. Don’t frown—old rules apply. Those teaming up with her for dungeons, accidental kills won’t be compensated.

What’s going on?!

Jing Huan stood at the respawn point lost in thought for a moment, then mounted her steed and galloped toward the direction of the forum’s NC.

Where there are people, there is the martial world—even in Nine Heroes’ game universe, it’s a miniature version. Likewise, with the martial world comes friction, and the most well-informed place for such drama and gossip is none other than the forums.

Jing Huan scrolled down a page and found a post about herself… or rather, about this account.

[Xianren Guild’s Full-Server Hunt for the Female Scammer « Don’t You Frown ».]

Jing Huan skimmed through it and finally understood why enemies had come knocking so soon after logging in.

The original owner of the account was a scammer. Two years ago, she first deceived the leader of a small guild, cleaned out their account, and even siphoned off the guild’s funds. When the scandal broke, she listed the account on the exchange and walked away without a second thought.

But the story didn’t end there. Less than half a month later, the account was bought by someone who claimed to be a wealthy, beautiful returnee from overseas, looking for a powerful guild to team up for dungeons and PvP. She quickly joined the server’s top guild, the Idle Pavilion, and successfully wooed one of the guild’s top players. The two got married and lived happily for over half a year. However, when the guild leader returned from a business trip, he found not only his account cleaned out but also that his « little wife » had borrowed a significant amount of money and equipment from the guild members in his name before vanishing without a trace again.

It wasn’t until someone noticed that the bank card number she borrowed money with was identical to the original account holder’s that everyone realized—this account had never changed hands from the very beginning!

Seeing this, even Jing Huan couldn’t help but admire it.

With such skills, what couldn’t you do?

Not only scamming money but also playing with emotions—this incident enraged the big shots of the Idle Pavilion. The entire gang of two hundred members began camping the target around the clock. After being killed twice, « Don’t You Frown » once again listed their account on the trading platform.

Unable to swallow this humiliation, Idle Pavilion spammed countless server-wide announcements and forum posts, declaring that anyone who dared to buy the account—regardless of whether it changed hands—would be hunted down without mercy. This led to the account becoming unsellable for a while, its price dropping repeatedly until it finally found an unlucky buyer who purchased it blindly—

which turned out to be himself.

No wonder the account price is so low.

Jing Huan pulled the thread to the last page with an expressionless face, only to see the latest reply written above—

1932l: This server has two notorious scumbag women—one is « Don’t You Frown, » and the other is Ran Xin. These two could form a despicable duo and debut.

Jing Huan memorized the ID of the thread’s original poster.

The person who didn’t even flinch when killed just moments ago now wishes they could reach through the screen and beat the living daylights out of the opponent.

Thirty consecutive voice messages poured in relentlessly, setting the world channel abuzz.

[World]FlowerBlind: What’s going on? Is « Don’t You Frown » making a comeback? Ran out of the money you scammed last time?

[World]DestinedPeachTea: Let me see which guild is about to suffer this time!

[World] Wind-Chasing Youth: Long live lovesickness!

[World] The Wind is Freer Than Me: Seriously, frowning lady, why torture yourself like this? Can’t you just start over with a new account? Must you insist on dying on this one?

[World] Destiny’s Peach Oolong: Damn it, shut up upstairs! Don’t give reckless advice! What if she actually listens to you!

…………

The world channel was bustling with noise, the scrolling speed so fast that not a single sentence could be clearly read.

It took players a long while to react, long after the system announcement in yellow font had scrolled past.

[System Announcement: Player « Don’t You Frown » has used a Name Change Stone to change their name to « Sweet Scenery. » From now on, player « Don’t You Frown » will officially be known as « Sweet Scenery. »]

[World] Destiny Peach Tea: ???

[World]Dazzling Blossoms: ??

[World]WindFreerThanMe: ???

[Megaphone]SweetScenery: Last warning—this account has changed hands. Hunt me if you dare; I’ll gladly oblige.

The moment the server-wide megaphone was sent, Jing Huan regretted it.

Does this tone sound too much like a drag queen?

So, while everyone was still in shock, he quickly followed up with another announcement.

[Announcement] Sweet Scenery: qaq Of course, it’s best if we can avoid fighting—harmony forever!