The God and His Online Friend Who Talks Nonsense

Song Li thinks he might be the most miserable god in the world.
That day, the earth shook and the mountains swayed, waking him from his slumber. For the first time, he left the mountains and forests and came to the city.
With no relatives and no one to rely on, the lonely god, in order to integrate into society and support himself, worked at a barbecue restaurant and served as a waiter at a nightclub.
Every time he was exhausted, the god would use his beat-up phone to log onto a certain app and stuff a bunch of nonsense into a drift bottle.
After a while, Song Li had an online friend who talked nonsense.
Song Li: So tired. Today at work the customers kept feeling like I was going to steal their stuff. I got really angry and called the police, and it turned out the police found several catties of drugs on those people.
Netizen: There are so many idiots in the world. Even ghosts have higher IQs than idiots.
Song Li: Tonight I'm eating a small cake. The police gave it to me. Because when I was working as a waiter at the nightclub, I called in a report to their vice squad, and they said they'd give me an award. The award doesn't really matter. The main thing is the twenty-thousand-yuan bonus.
Netizen: What lousy weather. Even with all my yin energy I can't suppress this garbage sun.
Song Li: Today I actually picked up five million in hell money!
Netizen: Pissed off. Today my underling lost a whole five million in hell money!
Song Li: ...Huh?
Netizen: ...Wha?
*
An optimistic and upbeat god will always have good luck watching over him!
After a while, Song Li appeared on an official TV station and was featured prominently in a report, and accidentally appeared on a certain offline cultural program giving a detailed explanation of a certain antique. He became hugely famous!
But the god's original intention remained unchanged, and he continued sending drift bottles to his nonsense-talking online friend:
Today at the antique convention I ran into a ghost. A real ghost, oh. I caught him, and now he's wailing and crying that his boss will definitely come save him!
Two minutes later, a thoroughly impatient Ghost King shoved a handful of hell money at a strange-looking Song Li: "Ransom!"
[Roughly a story about a real god and a Ghost King building a harmonious society together]
*
#Reading Guide#

Villains include men and women, humans and demons and ghosts. Everything serves the plot.

A hodgepodge. Anything could show up.

A fun-seeking, maxed-out-combat-power, mild-mannered shou vs. an equally strong, dog-tempered gong.

The 'nonsense-talking online friend' in the title is adapted from the internet meme [nonsense best friend].

Tons of bugs. I'm trying hard to fix them!

Nearing completion. Usually around 21:00, daily updates. If something comes up I'll leave a notice in the synopsis.

To prevent piracy, 80% anti-piracy purchase lock is on.
[Posted 2021/5/25, revised 2022/7/26, screenshot taken]
—I pretend to be blind, he pretends to be lame—
On the day the Lin and Xie families' marriage alliance was exposed, the topic of conversation in high-society circles became:
#How to Efficiently Clean Up Family Trash#
#The Best Way to Turn Trash into Treasure#
And the reason these topics came about was:
The Lin family's marriage-alliance offering was a blind man.
The Xie family's marriage-alliance offering was a cripple.
A perfect match.
...
When Lin Xu learned he was to be married into an alliance with the Xie family's former heir, he was very calm inside. Although Xie Yanqing had gotten into a car accident two years ago during the family power struggle, and according to rumors, his face was ruined, his legs were crippled, and he was even frail and sickly—a single cold could take half his life.
Lin Xu: Don't care. I'm blind anyway.
But at their first meeting, his pupils earthquaked.
Holy crap! Ruined face, my ass! How come even his sickly look is so damn alluring?
...
After Xie Yanqing and Lin Xu married, he wasn't very attentive to this blind partner.
Until one day he appeared in front of Lin Xu half-dressed, and Lin Xu's ears slowly turned red.
Xie Yanqing: ?
After that, he began uncontrollably observing Lin Xu.
For a midnight snack, sprinting downstairs at flying speed, four steps at a time;
Competing to be an internet troll, fingers dancing afterimages on the keyboard, one man holding off a thousand-strong army;
In a crowd of a dozen people, accurately feeling his way to his nemesis's back and kicking him into the pool.
Xie Yanqing: 6
Little theater:
On the day his nemesis came for revenge, Lin Xu leaned on his blind cane and Xie Yanqing pushed his wheelchair, pitifully cornered in an alley.
Amid earth-shaking screams.
Lin Xu, eyes bloodshot with killing intent, swung his blind cane and whacked people with bang bang bang.
He turned around.
Xie Yanqing undid his suit with one hand, kicked the wheelchair away with one foot, and sent two people flying.
Lin Xu: ?
A m-medical miracle?