Chapter 34
The middle-aged man outside was clearly a seasoned businessman. The moment he heard those words, he understood that there was a lady in the private room, and that the relationship between the man and woman was far from ordinary. If the lady took a fancy to something now, no matter how expensive, the man would have to buy it.
He was shrewd, of course, and knew that Lu Chenglian was not short on silver. This was a prime moment for business, so he quickly took another tray from the servant’s hands and presented it. “Please take a look at this one too, sir.”
Several trays were brought in one after another. Gu Xiyan glanced over them and saw pearls, agate, and rubies and sapphires from foreign lands, all glittering brilliantly.
Gu Xiyan had never seen such things before and was dazzled for a moment.
When she looked up, she saw Lu Chenglian gazing at her tenderly. “Do you like them?”
His eyes were gentle as water, and his voice was indulgent, as if he would buy her whatever she wanted on the spot.
In such a situation, who wouldn’t be thrilled?
But Gu Xiyan did not particularly want anything.
She had indeed extorted two hundred taels from him before, but wasn’t that what he deserved? He had lied, so he deserved to swallow a bitter pill in silence.
Now, for no reason at all, someone wanted to buy something for her, and she did not dare accept it.
Besides, if the silver shop’s proprietor had personally brought trays to peddle his wares, the items must be expensive. He was probably quoting outrageous prices right now, and she should not fall for it.
So she shook her head, signaling to Lu Chenglian that it was unnecessary.
But Lu Chenglian used a silver spoon to push the items around, and finally picked out a small red wooden box to show Gu Xiyan.
Gu Xiyan took it. Inside were about a few dozen pearls.
Actually, one pearl was nothing, two pearls were nothing, but several dozen pearls gathered together, with a soft pink luster and radiant brilliance, were truly delightful.
Why could pearls and jade become treasures? Because any ordinary person who saw them could not help but like them.
Gu Xiyan was only human, so naturally she could not look away.
Seeing her reaction, Lu Chenglian asked the proprietor, “Proprietor Sun, what price are these pearls?”
The proprietor smiled and said, “Third Master has a good eye. These are top-grade pearls that arrived by ship just yesterday. Twenty pearls make one liang, priced at forty taels.”
Gu Xiyan almost gasped when she heard this. So expensive!
Her gold bracelet, so large, had not even sold for a hundred taels.
These pearls, at first glance, looked like two or three liang. Wouldn’t that be over a hundred taels of silver?
She quickly shot Lu Chenglian a look. Don’t buy them, don’t buy them. She didn’t want them anyway, and she didn’t dare accept them.
Lu Chenglian acted as if he had not seen it. He only used the silver spoon to push the pearls around and said lightly, “Ordinary large pearls go for only twenty taels of silver per liang. These pearls are indeed good, but they are not perfectly round pearls. They are merely Meiren Lake pearls, with purplish skin and pink luster. They are considered round and smooth, but their luster is somewhat lacking.”
Hearing this, the proprietor quickly smiled apologetically. “You are truly a connoisseur, sir. What a good eye. You saw through them at a glance. These are indeed Meiren Lake pearls, and they even have a waist skirt, called waistline pearls. They were just transported here from Jiujiang.”
Lu Chenglian said, “Oh, so the price?”
The proprietor thought with a troubled expression, then said, “You are a connoisseur, sir. I dare not quote an outrageous price. Today I am also fated to meet you. Let these pearls be priced at twenty-five per liang. If there are a few extra pearls, I will gift them to you. How about that?”
Gu Xiyan was astonished as she listened. He had just said forty taels of silver per liang, and now in the blink of an eye it was twenty-five? Almost cut in half!
Lu Chenglian nodded slightly. The pearls were then taken to be weighed. After that, he picked out a rose-purple gemstone from the other items and casually asked about it. It was not expensive, about a dozen taels of silver.
In recent years, overseas ships had traveled between the various foreign nations, and the price of these foreign gemstones was no longer what it had been. They were merely the price of ordinary pearls and jade.
Gu Xiyan watched quietly from the side and did not interject.
Soon the pearls were weighed. Rounding up, plus that rose-purple gemstone, the total came to eighty taels. Lu Chenglian ordered someone to complete the transaction.
Outside the private room, all was quiet. The curtains and glazed doors were closed, and only Lu Chenglian and Gu Xiyan remained in the room.
Lu Chenglian said, “These waistline pearls can be cut in half from the middle and set into gold headpieces. As for this rose-purple gemstone, I’ll have a pendant made for you.”
Gu Xiyan said, “I don’t want it.”
Lu Chenglian looked up at her. “Why?”
Gu Xiyan said, “It’s so expensive. Why would I want this for no reason? I don’t even wear such things!”
Lu Chenglian frowned slightly and studied Gu Xiyan.
His ink-black eyes were clearly calm, yet they seemed able to see right through her.
Gu Xiyan did not care. Let him look. She had her own mind and was stubborn. If she said she did not want it, she did not want it.
After a while, Lu Chenglian sighed. “Gu Xiyan, at this point, what difference does it make whether you are reserved or unrestrained?”
Gu Xiyan was confused.
Lu Chenglian said, “Do you think you can still clear your name?”
Gu Xiyan was silent.
After a moment, she lowered her eyes and said softly, “Even if I can’t clear it, I still don’t want these things from you.”
The things before could barely be explained away, and she could still deceive herself a little.
But once she accepted something like this, she felt she would be tainted by something she did not dare touch, and there would be no clearing it no matter what.
Besides, she would feel as if she were coveting his money.
Lu Chenglian said, “I’m not giving them to you.”
Gu Xiyan looked at him in confusion. What did he mean? Was he teasing her?
Lu Chenglian said, “You wear them. Wear them for me to see.”
He raised his eyes and gazed at her. “You look good wearing them, and I like looking at you. Isn’t that each getting what they want?”
Gu Xiyan said, “You—”
Even if she wore them, why should she show him?
Lu Chenglian said, “I’ll have them set and bring them to you. Just say they are your dowry. No one will suspect.”
He looked into her eyes and asked, “When you married in, didn’t your family also provide some fine headpieces as dowry?”
These words made Gu Xiyan’s heart lurch. In the past two years, too many things had happened in her family. Her dowry had gradually been sold off, or secretly sent back to her family to help them. She had done all of this in secret, not daring to let the Duke’s household know.
So sometimes she did feel guilty. If she encountered some formal occasion, she only had those same few pieces to wear, and she was afraid in her heart.
Although her dowry was originally hers, if word got out that she had used it to subsidize her family, her days in the Duke’s household would only become harder.
Lu Chenglian said gently, “All right, it’s settled.”
Gu Xiyan said, “But—”
Lu Chenglian did not allow discussion. “Let’s watch the play.”
Actually, Gu Xiyan had been on guard all along. She kept thinking something would happen, and she was also pondering what she should say if he made a move. Should she refuse, agree, or half-resist and half-yield?
But in the end, nothing happened. From beginning to end, Lu Chenglian only drank tea and watched the play.
So much so that when Gu Xiyan was about to get up and leave, an inexplicable sense of melancholy rose in her heart.
Just as she reached the door, Lu Chenglian suddenly said, “This dress of yours today suits you very well.”
He paused, then said in a low voice, “Very beautiful.”
His deep, slightly hoarse voice was truly pleasant to hear. Gu Xiyan felt her heart tremble slightly, and the hand hidden in her sleeve unconsciously tightened.
As a widow, when she was ordered to leave the residence for an outing, her clothing naturally had to follow the rules even more strictly. But now that spring was bright and beautiful, she was not content to be completely plain and simple either, so she had put some care into her dress.
It looked like an ordinary white gauze embroidered dress, but it was actually adorned with kingfisher feathers and gold thread. At first glance it did not stand out, but when she walked, as the hem fluttered, strands of gold thread flowed and shone brilliantly.
Gu Xiyan had not expected that this little bit of care on her part had all been seen by this man.
As she was thinking this, she suddenly felt a scorching presence behind her and was slightly startled.
Before she could say anything, Lu Chenglian said in a low voice by her ear, “Don’t make a sound. Someone is passing outside.”
Gu Xiyan immediately fell silent. When she listened carefully, she realized there were indeed footsteps in the corridor, along with faint fragments of speech. It sounded like tea house maids taking a shortcut through here.
She could not help feeling fortunate. Luckily she had not rashly gone out just now. If she had, she would have run right into those two maids, which would only have caused unnecessary speculation.
Lu Chenglian whispered, “Don’t be afraid. Wait until they leave, then you can go out.”
The deliberately lowered male voice was too ambiguous, stirring the imagination. Gu Xiyan’s face grew hot and her ears burned. She lowered her head and gave a soft “mm.”
After that, neither of them spoke. They stood quietly, and because they were so close, each other’s breathing was clearly audible.
This made Gu Xiyan’s imagination run even wilder. She actually thought of her wedding night with Lu Chengyuan. Inside the bed curtains, tightly concealed, everything was hazy and indistinct. She and a nearly unfamiliar man had to face each other bare, to do the shameful things between husband and wife that made one tremble.
Gu Xiyan clenched her fists tightly, desperately suppressing herself, not letting herself gasp, not letting herself show anything unusual.
She felt she was being too unrestrained. She truly could not be like this.
But just then, suddenly, something landed on her shoulder, warm and firm.
Her body instantly stiffened. She widened her eyes, at a loss.
Fortunately, the man did nothing more. He only patted her shoulder lightly, somewhat soothingly.
Gu Xiyan was terribly afraid and felt unbearably tormented. Yet at that very moment, the two little maids walked over to this side and then stopped, chattering in low voices.
Gu Xiyan almost broke down and wanted to cry. She was holding her breath now, not daring even to breathe loudly, afraid of making a sound that would draw attention from outside, and also afraid that the man behind her would notice her abnormality, like a raging fire consuming her.
She was overwhelmed with shame and unease, as if she were in the eighteenth layer of hell itself.
She widened her eyes, staring at the glazed window so close at hand, listening stiffly to their fragmented words—something about Miss Luo’s performance, some noble patron, how sooner or later she would fly into a high household, and at the very least secure the position of a concubine.
In this extreme endurance and torment, she even began to hallucinate that those two whispering maids might suddenly go mad, push open the door, rush in, and start shouting, and then they would know that in this private room was a chaste widow praised by everyone, secretly meeting with her elder brother-in-law!
If that happened, she—
Just then, she was embraced.
Embraced.
It was a pair of sufficiently strong and powerful arms, indisputably wrapping around her.
The moment she was embraced, she realized that her body had been stretched taut to the extreme, so much so that she was trembling uncontrollably.
She stared blankly ahead, lips quivering, wanting to make some sound, yet completely unable to.
She did not dare make a sound either.
Her mind was a complete blank. The remaining instinct screamed sharply in her head. She knew she should push him away, should escape. She could not just fall into a man’s arms without any warning like this.
But she was completely powerless to resist. Her limbs and bones no longer obeyed her.
The man’s powerful arms silently circled around her side. His warm, large palm covered her lower abdomen and smoothly drew her backward.
So she clearly felt her clothing press against the man’s brocade robe. The fabric first touched softly, then was tightly pressed together. Thus her back, through the fabric of both their clothes, was completely fitted against his solid chest.
And in that very real closeness, she clearly felt it.
Gu Xiyan was startled, and a low whimper almost escaped her lips.
She hurriedly raised her hand and covered her mouth, preventing herself from making that shameful sound.
Her fingers trembled violently, and her body was weak and soft.
Fortunately, at this moment, the two little maids finally suddenly remembered they had something else to do and hurried away.
They were finally gone.
Gu Xiyan’s taut body suddenly relaxed. Her legs gave way, and her whole body slid downward uncontrollably.
The man’s powerful arms behind her wrapped around her falling body and caught her firmly.
Gu Xiyan’s lips trembled as she murmured, “Don’t…”
But the moment the sound left her mouth, she was startled herself. It was so soft and charming it seemed water could be wrung from it—practically a show of welcome disguised as refusal!
She bit her lower lip in shame and anger. How had she become like this?
It was just a man. How could she not get past this hurdle?
But the arms behind her drew her even deeper into his embrace, and his scorching breath once again drew close to the shell of her ear.
She opened her tear-filled eyes and stared blankly at the patterns on the window lattice. It was a lotus-and-plum design, interwoven and winding, like a maze from which she could not escape.
She knew she was beyond saving.
In her daze, suddenly, her earlobe was gently taken into something.
Hot, light.
She shuddered and went rigid.
By her ear came the man’s low, hoarse, restrained voice: “Don’t be afraid.”
As he spoke, he tentatively used his teeth to bite gently, used the tip of his tongue to tease that earlobe.
Gu Xiyan clearly felt that the man’s movements were somewhat inexperienced, but even so, she was still aroused.
After all, she was a woman who had experienced the ways of love, who had once known such pleasures. Now, having been deprived for two years, how could she withstand being stirred like this?
She helplessly tilted her neck back, her eyes half-closed, and pleaded with a hint of tears in her voice, “I beg you, don’t do this. I’m afraid.”
The man behind her seemed to pause.
He said in a low, hoarse voice, “You don’t like this?”
Gu Xiyan hurriedly shook her head, tears rolling down like broken strands of pearls.
She liked it, but precisely because she liked it, she dared not.
The man behind her did not reply. The room fell silent, with only Gu Xiyan’s occasional uncontrollable whimpers, very small.
After quite a while, the man’s two hands reached under her arms, held her, and turned her around.
Gu Xiyan’s body was soft and powerless, like a pile of mud, letting herself be handled as he wished.
Lu Chenglian cupped her face with both large hands and looked down, studying her carefully.
Her clear eyes were brimming with tears. Her thin, soft lips trembled. She looked at him blankly, at a loss, pitiful beyond words.
A woman from a sheltered inner chamber, she followed the rules and dared nothing. At the very beginning, when she begged others for help, she did not even dare raise her eyes to look at them. Before she spoke, her face would already be red.
But now, meeting a man in secret, embracing, cheek pressed to cheek—she had already defied the world’s greatest taboo.
She simply could not bear such an impact.
He sighed and tentatively kissed her tear-stained eyelids, then kissed her delicate, upturned nose.
These things were not something he was skilled at. He had never coaxed any woman like this. Even with his own mother, there had always been a certain contention between them. But now, seeing her cry like this, he realized for the first time that he could not bear to see a woman weep like this—or rather, could not bear to see her weep like this.
Gu Xiyan certainly felt it. He was comforting her, kissing her very tenderly, and tentatively patting her back.
This made her heart ache, and also taste a little sweetness.
She felt like a leaf battered by wind and rain, soaked through and crumpled, yet this person was clumsily trying to smooth her out, trying to wipe away the dampness.
Dense, fine kisses kept falling. He seemed to have tasted sweetness, or perhaps become addicted. He lightly kissed her eyelids and gently sucked away the teardrops at the corners of her cheeks.
From far outside the window came a long drawn-out tune, the voice sweet and charming, alluring and moving.
Inside the room, however, it was especially quiet, with only the sound of their entwined breathing and the ambiguous sounds between lips and teeth.
The atmosphere grew stickier and sweeter, the temperature becoming scorching. Gu Xiyan was lost in it, almost unable to extricate herself.
But some remaining rationality made her reach out her hand and press against his chest. “No more…”
Hearing this, Lu Chenglian looked down and gazed at her seriously. “Really no more?”
Her voice was charming and sweet, with a hook to it, making one’s very bones itch.
Yet she said no more. Lu Chenglian did not agree.
Hearing this, Gu Xiyan wanted to cry. She was too spineless, yet she still wanted to struggle.
She bit her already moist lower lip and murmured, “Really no more. I—I should go…”
As she spoke, she really seemed about to leave.
But just as she tried to break free, the man’s scorching kiss fell without room for refusal.
He cupped her face and kissed her deeply and heavily, sweeping away all resistance, like a violent storm, swallowing, kissing, consuming in great mouthfuls.
The male scent came crashing down from all sides. Gu Xiyan’s mind went blank, dazed and muddled, and her broken whimpers were all swallowed by him.
She seemed to still hear her own gasping, soft and whimpering, making her so ashamed that even her toes curled.
She hated herself, hated her half-resistance and half-yielding, hated her tingling helplessness and inability to restrain herself.
She put on a posture of resistance, as if she were being forced, but in truth she also liked it. She was merely going along with the current, welcoming while pretending to refuse.
This kind of cheek-to-cheek intimacy was like sweet rain to her. She longed for it intensely.
After a long time, the kiss finally stopped.
She lay weakly against the man’s chest, panting in small breaths.
At this moment, the man’s solid arm was still wrapped around her waist. Their waists and legs were tightly intertwined, so that she could clearly feel his undiminished desire.
She opened her misty, tear-filled eyes and stared at the emptiness ahead, thinking in confusion, would he continue?
If he insisted, should she refuse?
But here? There was no bed here…
What if she became pregnant…
Just then, Lu Chenglian’s large palm gently stroked her trembling back. Those hands were clearly so hard and powerful, yet at this moment they were so gentle they made her heart tremble.
This made Gu Xiyan instinctively lean closer to him.
She yearned for warmth, yearned to be soothed and cherished.
Lu Chenglian lowered his head by her ear, his breath scorching. “Next month you’re going to the mountains to copy scriptures?”
Gu Xiyan gave a very soft “mm.”
Lu Chenglian said, “When the time comes, I’ll find an excuse to go see you. Is that all right?”
The man’s voice was low and ambiguous. Gu Xiyan naturally understood what “go see you” meant.
Once one tasted sweetness in such a thing, afterward one would only sink deeper and deeper.
She was flustered and confused, her thoughts in a daze.
After that, Gu Xiyan did not even clearly hear what else the man said. Her whole body was soft, her blood boiling, both ears buzzing.
She left almost as if fleeing for her life. Fortunately, the main performance outside was at its most exciting, and no one saw her.
When she finally returned to the Duke’s household private room, it was empty. She pulled out a soft handkerchief, covered her face, and lay back on the low chair, stifling her racing heart.
She was startled, afraid, ashamed, and panicked. Her heart was pounding wildly, yet her body had no strength.
She knew she was finished. Never mind the future—just today, just now, if that man had held her and forced her to stay, she would not have been able to escape at all. She would only have sunk into it.
This was certainly very spineless, but she also felt that if another woman were in her situation and encountered such a man, who could easily escape?
Her life was already a stagnant pool of water, utterly hopeless. She merely hoped for some pleasure, some hope to look forward to.
Lu Chenglian was her hope, the meat bone that had fallen from the sky.
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