Chapter 34

Chapter 34 Not Caring

Xu Yannuo listened to the banging sounds of Xu Cheng opening drawers and cabinets in the bedroom. Shortly after, she felt Cheng Yun trembling even more violently. Unlike her, who was startled by the noise, Cheng Yun seemed to know what was about to happen—her fear radiated deep from her pupils, a terror so overwhelming it felt as though it would drown her any second.

Before Xu Yannuo could figure out why, she heard Xu Cheng’s footsteps approaching, accompanied by his furious roars: “Cheng Yun, you bitch! Where the hell did you hide the money? Have I been gone so long that you dare to stash cash now? Are you asking for a beating?” Before he could finish his angry tirade, Xu Cheng had already reached the dining table. In a split second, before Xu Yannuo could even react, he flipped the table over. The cacophony of crashing dishes and shattering bowls followed, along with the clattering of a small aluminum basin spinning wildly before finally coming to rest. Scattered across the floor were the ruined pies and the spilled porridge, now splattered everywhere.

At the moment the voice sounded, Xu Cheng had already grabbed Cheng Yun’s hair…

Xu Yannuo didn’t know how those ten-plus minutes passed. From the moment Xu Cheng entered the house until he finished beating Cheng Yun, took the money, and left – it was merely a span of ten-plus minutes, as evidenced by the wall clock. Yet to Xu Yannuo, the process felt as long as an entire century.

When she regained consciousness, she realized she had collapsed onto the floor at some point, while Cheng Yun lay opposite her amidst shards of broken plates and bowls and sticky congee, silently shedding tears. One side of her eye socket bore a large fresh red mark from Xu Cheng’s fist – by tomorrow, the swelling would turn into a dark bruise. On the floor beside her was the phone Xu Cheng had forced Cheng Yun to unlock via facial recognition to transfer money from her WeChat account, its screen still lit as it hadn’t timed out yet.

Xu Yannuo glanced again at the wide-open security door in the living room. After all these years, she no longer cared whether neighbors witnessed their family’s shame, or whether kids from the same school might spread their dirty laundry around campus.

She must have been afraid back then, terrified out of her mind, dreading the peculiar looks her classmates would give her. That psychological torment piling on top of everything else made her unable to even lift her head.

But now, she couldn’t care less. She wasn’t sure when that change started. In any case, she had no friends, and she realized she didn’t need to care about what the neighbors thought either.

The old residential area had poor ventilation. When summer arrived, every household would leave their doors and windows wide open. But the moment they heard the sound of their family’s table being flipped over and the first curse hurled by Xu Cheng, the neighbors would immediately and uniformly slam their doors shut.

No one came to break up the fight, no one came to see what was happening, and certainly no one came to “meddle in others’ business.” It was just like always—exactly as despair-inducing as every memory Cheng Yun had of being beaten growing up.

No straw to clutch at, not even a glimmer of hope to cling to.

Xu Yannuo rose like a walking corpse, went to the door and closed it, then returned to Cheng Yun’s side to help her up…

So many years have passed, when did it start that I, who was so deeply involved, became so numb? In the beginning, she would always cry out and rush to hug Cheng Yun first, then support Cheng Yun and ask if she was okay, if anything had happened, before finally moving on to other things.

Helping Cheng Yun to sit on the sofa, Xu Yannuo went to fetch cleaning supplies and cleared away the broken glass from the plates and bowls on the floor, along with the spilled porridge and food. After cleaning up, she brought the first aid kit and sat down beside Cheng Yun.

This time, the beating by Xu Cheng wasn’t severe. Xu Yannuo frowned slightly as she looked at Cheng Yun’s swollen eye, which was now almost unable to open. It couldn’t be said to be mild either; it was just that this time, Cheng Yun wasn’t hit in many places. There were no injuries on her body from being struck, but after falling to the ground earlier, the skin on her elbow, which was exposed, had pressed against the broken glass on the floor, causing some shallow scratches. The wounds weren’t deep but were slowly oozing blood.

Xu Yannuo took out the iodine and cotton swabs, dipped them, picked up Cheng Yun’s arm, and began carefully applying the medicine. In truth, there was no need to be so cautious—after all these years, she had long become skilled at it, her ability to dress wounds no worse than a hospital nurse’s.

Frowning as she applied the medicine, she could hear Cheng Yun’s quiet sobs, the kind she tried but failed to suppress. The sound only made Xu Yannuo feel a wave of irritation. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel for Cheng Yun—it was just that the pain had numbed her. This time, she finally broke the long-standing silence between them, the topic they had always avoided. After securing the last bandage on Cheng Yun’s arm, she looked up and asked, “Why don’t you just get a divorce? What’s the point of living like this?”

Cheng Yun was clearly taken aback. She hadn’t expected Xu Yannuo to suddenly bring this up. In her eyes, Xu Yannuo was just a child—children should focus on their studies, not meddle in adult affairs. Moreover, this was a subject the two of them had tacitly agreed never to broach all these years.

This marriage—she couldn’t leave it.

It’s okay if she suffers a bit, but she has to consider Xu Yannuo—she can’t be without a father. Children from single-parent families may develop psychological issues. And wouldn’t she be isolated at school? That would be too pitiful.

Cheng Yun fell silent. The two sat facing each other for a long time, so long that Xu Yannuo thought Cheng Yun wouldn’t answer the question. She picked up the first aid kit and stood up to put it away.

What kind of feelings did she have toward Cheng Yun? Disappointment? She wasn’t sure. Frustration at her inability to change? Maybe a little. Anger at her poor judgment in choosing such a husband? Absolutely. But then again, she felt she had no right to judge, since Xu Cheng came first, and Cheng Yun followed. Moreover, Cheng Yun still carried Xu Cheng’s blood in her veins—the very blood she despised…

Most of the time, she truly couldn’t understand Cheng Yun’s way of thinking.

A suffocating mix of repressed negative emotions churned inside Xu Ya’nuo, leaving her feeling stifled, unable to breathe, trapped with no way out. And yet, she couldn’t find a solution—because the key person in all this, Cheng Yun, had never even considered resolving it, refusing to so much as acknowledge the issue.

But Cheng Yun was her mother, and she was Cheng Yun’s only child. She couldn’t just give up and walk away.

The surroundings remained silent. After the previous violent noise, it was now eerily quiet. Xu Yano took a deep breath, still feeling suffocated. Carrying the medical kit, she left the living room. After putting the medical kit back, she returned to her room and closed the door.

Xu Yannuo sat curled up on her bed, hugging her knees. She liked this position, as it gave her a sense of security. She tilted her head to look out the window, watching the people passing by below. Every now and then, a few boys or girls around her age would walk past carrying backpacks, laughing and playfully teasing each other, as if they were on their way to cram school together.