Chapter 34

Chapter 34 Home “Move to my place”

Han Rao had never felt so stupid. Almost without thinking, she blurted out what was on her mind, solely based on the lingering warmth between them.

He clearly hated these words the most.

Women are indeed emotional creatures, always easily moved by a man’s slightest tenderness, to the point of being completely infatuated.

Han Rao still had her eyes closed, trying her best to control her breathing, perhaps pretending to be asleep. But her heart was tightly clenched, even somewhat anticipating his reaction and answer.

She thought, since she had already spoken it aloud, she might as well openly accept the fact that she had already spoken her mind.

Time passed minute by minute.

Zhao Jichuan remained silent, his deep eyes fixed on her small face, as if digesting her words and discerning her intentions behind them.

He wasn’t very good at deceiving himself. He could feel that his feelings for Han Rao were very different, and he knew that after hearing her confession, his heart had fluttered.

But he was also very clear-headed: he and she were, after all, just a fleeting romance. It was enough to seek a moment of pleasure; mixing in something like “love” was like a fine piece of unpolished jade being stained with impurities.

They clearly could have had the purest and most extreme relationship, so why go to the trouble of getting involved in all this romance?

Zhao Jichuan scraped her cheek with his thumb and called her, “Han Rao.”

Han Rao gently pursed her lips, feeling as if time had stretched endlessly, and the process of waiting for him to speak felt like an eternity.

But he just gently called her name and said nothing else. He probably really thought she was dreaming and was just spouting nonsense.

His reaction was like torture to her; Han Rao only felt her heart shatter.

She would rather he grab her chin and fiercely tell her to stop daydreaming, or gently say that he also likes and loves her very much.

Even this is acceptable, so why is he so indifferent?

Indifference, in her eyes, meant he truly didn’t care, even viewing her words as a childish game, not worth answering.

There is no greater sorrow than a dead heart.

Han Rao felt as if she had been thrown into the ocean, the seawater engulfing her nostrils, a numb sensation of impending death.

She understood.

She understood what he meant.

Han Rao couldn’t hold back any longer. She suddenly opened her eyes, grabbed his hand, got up, pushed him down, and fiercely bit his lips.

She insisted on biting him until he bled, but he didn’t resist, letting her tear at him, gently calling her “Rao Rao.”

Han Rao felt as if all the strength had been drained from her body. She looked into his eyes and suddenly showed a triumphant smile, a smile tinged with a subtle, almost imperceptible sadness.

She asked him, “Why aren’t you answering me?”

She was best at acting, and in an instant, she was the indifferent Han Rao again.

Han Rao kissed his Adam’s apple and said to herself, “Zhao Jichuan, I actually really like you fucking me.”

Her words were powerful and resonant, making him feel that perhaps this sentence was her true intention.

Zhao Jichuan raised his hand to touch her hair, his eyes terrifyingly calm. He asked her, “Han Rao, isn’t it good for us to be like this?”

His tone was very much like a warning, but also seemed a little helpless.

Han Rao looked at him for two seconds, then lowered her eyes, tugged at the corner of her lips, and said nonchalantly, “It’s pretty good.”

It really is pretty good. Someone gives her money and resources, and this person’s service in bed isn’t bad. What’s not to like?

The most crucial thing is, she knows that her current strength still depends on him.

She had to cling to her career, otherwise she would have immediately kicked him to vent her anger.

Han Rao scoffed lightly, rolled off him, wrapped herself in her nightgown, and padded barefoot on the carpet. She tossed him the cigarettes and lighter, then turned to the bathroom to shower.

She was exhausted, but his attitude was like a dose of stimulant, keeping her wide awake and her nerves taut, making her terribly uncomfortable.

Han Rao turned on the shower directly, and the scalding water washed over her body, rinsing away the stickiness, as well as her dishevelment and humiliation.

She tilted her head back to wash her face, and water droplets trickled down her jawline. No one knew if the water was truly salty or not.

Later, Han Rao thought about it, and she had done two extremely foolish things in this relationship.

Today was the first, she, as if possessed, confessed to him, directly laying her heart bare for him to see. He clearly knew she loved him hopelessly, which is why he later bullied and humiliated her so wantonly.

Han Rao emerged from her shower, having regained her usual composure. She slowly blow-dried her hair, even humming a couple of tunes, seemingly unaffected by him in the slightest.

It was only when she had finished tidying up, applied body lotion, and was about to go to bed that she realized he had been quietly leaning by the bed, smoking four or five cigarettes.

When she entered, the man was just extinguishing the last cigarette. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he ground the cigarette butt into the ashtray was both sexy and aloof.

Han Rao pursed her lips, bent down, and opened the cigarette pack. It was empty; he had smoked all the cigarettes.

He was actually a restrained person, with little need for cigarettes, unlike other smokers who could go through a pack a day. Most of the cigarettes he smoked were post-coital, serving as a form of foreplay. Han Rao also considered this post-coital cigarette a part of their afterplay; she liked his sexy demeanor when he smoked.

But today, he was clearly acting out of character.

Han Rao acted as if nothing had happened, moved the ashtray away, and asked him if he wanted to take a shower.

The man pulled her into his arms and said, “Let’s go to sleep.”

Han Rao was held in his arms like that, with her back to him. She looked out the window and thought, it must be almost dawn, because from this angle in the bedroom, she could no longer see the moon.

The man’s breath brushed against her ear, and Han Rao slowly grew accustomed to it, closing her eyes. She could no longer resist the urge to sleep and drifted off.

Zhao Jichuan, however, didn’t fall asleep today. She carried a faint scent of shower gel, a citrusy fragrance that kept wafting into his nostrils.

He greedily inhaled her scent, even wanting to wake her up and tease her again, but he couldn’t bring himself to truly disturb her.

After a long time, Zhao Jichuan gently pinched her earlobe and sighed softly, “Han Rao, I can’t give you what you want.”

So it’s best if we’re both sensible, just as we agreed, and neither of us falls in love with the other.

The next morning, Han Rao was woken by Zhao Jichuan getting out of bed.

　　她

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes, scratched her hair, and looked at him resentfully, asking him what time it was.

Zhao Jichuan: “Seven thirty-two. I have a meeting at the company today. You can sleep a little longer.”

Han Rao raised an eyebrow, suddenly revealing a mischievous smile. She pulled his arm, straddled his lap, pinned him down, and then reached for his tie.

“Is Mr. Zhao going to the company in these clothes? Aren’t you afraid of what people might think, appearing in the same outfit yesterday and today?”

His clothes were actually quite clean, unlike her nightgown, which was wrinkled from being pressed.

Zhao Jichuan glanced at her, knowing that the thoughtless remark she made last night had naturally resurfaced between them.

This is probably what adult relationships are like, full of turmoil, sustained entirely by reason and acting.

He held her waist to carry her down, “Sleep a little longer, didn’t you say you were tired?”

Han Rao insisted on contradicting him, deliberately saying, “I won’t let you go.”

Zhao Jichuan felt quite muddled and asked her, “If I don’t leave, what do you want to do?”

Han Raoying smiled gracefully, pointing to the large, unopened box on the table. “Help me with this puzzle.”

She had bought this puzzle a while ago, and it had been sitting in a corner, unplayed.

“It’s ‘Along the River During the Qingming Festival,’ a thousand pieces. I’ll let you go once it’s done,” she said.

Zhao Jichuan glanced at it from a distance. The box indeed had the ‘Along the River During the Qingming Festival’ pattern, and given the large packaging, a thousand pieces seemed plausible.

He didn’t know why she was doing so many puzzle pieces.

Han Rao said that once it was put together, she would frame it and mail it home for her grandmother to hang on the wall.

“My grandma is old and her eyesight isn’t very good. She can’t embroider the ‘Along the River During the Qingming Festival’ cross-stitch anymore. I’ll get her a fake one to frame, so she can show it off and brag to people when she goes out for a walk.”

Zhao Jichuan listened to her talk with a smile, and casually asked her how old her grandmother was and how her health was.

Han Rao realized she had said too much, and casually brushed it off, saying, “Just over seventy, in good health.”

“Oh, by the way, are you leaving or not?” She started to change the subject, trying to get him to leave again.

He quite liked her mischievousness. “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t let me go until I finished the puzzle?”

Han Rao suddenly had an idea. She said coquettishly, “Zhao Jichuan, call me ‘ancestor,’ and I’ll let you go. Don’t people from Beicheng like to talk like that? Calling their darlings ‘little ancestors.'”

But her saying that was purely a death wish to take advantage of him.

Whether a darling is truly darling is unknown, but the ancestor’s seniority is certainly great.

Furthermore, she actually wanted to test his limits, to see how far he would indulge her.

Anyway, he didn’t strangle her last night when she confessed to him.

She must have been living too comfortably lately, looking for some excitement, so she decided to stir up trouble.

Zhao Jichuan glanced at her, pinched her face, and then kissed her lips, “My little ancestor, can you let me go?”

The man’s voice was hoarse yet magnetic, gentle and sexy, and Han Rao’s eyes widened.

She didn’t expect him to actually call her that. It felt strange, as if she really were his darling.

“Hmm, Raorao?”

Han Rao hooked her arms around his neck, kissed his lips, and said with a smile, “Alright, be careful on your way.”

Once the man truly left, Han Rao felt her entire face burning, overcome with embarrassment.

He’s sick, he actually answered.

　　-

After filming wrapped, Han Rao took a few days of complete rest before diving back into work.

Hu Shengnan got her a performance-based reality show, which fortunately didn’t conflict with her schedule. This variety show was a hot commodity; the first season had a good response, and many agents wanted their artists to join to hone their acting skills and, incidentally, build up their public appeal.

Han Rao actually didn’t like reality TV shows. Besides them being too scripted and fake, part of the reason was that she considered her personality unsuitable for such things. Moreover, she still held the view that actors shouldn’t be overexposed; they needed to maintain an air of mystery so that the characters they portrayed could feel fresh to the audience.

In today’s internet-developed society, if she were to expose every detail of her real life online, audiences would probably think of the real her whenever they watched a play, which would be quite distracting.

However, Han Rao was quite looking forward to this reality show because it featured many experienced actors from the industry as mentors, and even some veteran Hong Kong TVB actors.

She had loved Hong Kong movies since she was a child, and if she could really meet these people, she would have no regrets.

After graduation, Han Rao almost never took similar acting classes again, instead learning through practice. Coupled with the scarcity of acting opportunities in the past two years, she never knew the extent of her acting skills or how to further improve them.

So, considering all the reasons, Han Rao still took on this reality show.

So, Han Rao flew to Hangzhou Xiaoshan two days a week, and after work, she returned to Beicheng to learn horse riding.

A while ago, she mentioned to Zhao Jichuan that she wanted to learn horseback riding, so he helped her find a reliable coach. Han Rao learned very quickly and really enjoyed riding, so she simply went to the stable to play whenever she had free time.

In mid-June, Han Rao became even busier. The drama she filmed, “Beneath the High Platform,” officially premiered, airing two episodes every night at 7 PM.

The Princess Yueyang she played was also considered one of the main cast members, so she followed the crew to promote the show by visiting buildings and doing live broadcasts.

Hu Shengnan’s prediction was accurate; the character of Princess Yueyang indeed became very popular. Her inherent malice and ferocity sparked a wave of imitation among netizens. Yueyang was both crazy and evil, making people both love and hate her. Han Rao portrayed this perfectly. Later, when the meme “Jinjiang-style acting” became popular across the internet, Princess Yueyang, played by Han Rao, was also included in netizens’ rankings.

Han Rao successfully returned to the public eye because of this role. Coupled with the previous buzz about “Su Wan bullying newcomers,” Han Rao’s Weibo followers increased significantly.

This weekend, when Han Rao finished filming the reality show and landed in Beicheng with Vivi, there were surprisingly still fans there to greet them at the airport.

The fan was not very old, in her early twenties, and looked like she was still in school. She gave Han Rao a bouquet of flowers, specially wrapped sunflowers, and also gave Han Rao her handwritten letter and a Kitty cat doll.

Han Rao was overjoyed, never expecting to have fans pick her up. After receiving the gifts, she repeatedly thanked her fans.

The young fan smiled and followed her. After taking photos and getting autographs, the young fan also said many encouraging words to her.

Han Rao was particularly touched. When she got into the car, she said to Vivi, “I really didn’t expect someone to like me so quickly and even send me flowers and letters.”

Vivi chuckled, “Sis, you’ll have so many fans in the future, they’ll be able to pack the airport wall-to-wall.”

Han Rao gently tapped her forehead, carefully carrying the bouquet and doll home.

After returning home, she realized there was no vase at home, so she casually grabbed a taller cup to put the flowers in, trimmed them, and took good care of them. She thought these flowers could last a week.

After tidying up, Han Rao nestled on the sofa and read the letter.

That was a very long handwritten letter, written on colorful, illustrated paper. The writer’s handwriting was neat, and they wrote two and a half pages.

As Han Rao read, her nose tingled; she was actually a very emotional person.

The young fan said that she had liked her ever since the movie “The Sea of First Love,” and now, it had been five whole years. She even mentioned many small roles she had played in the letter, some so minor they didn’t even have names.

Han Rao read that letter over and over again that day, so much so that some of the words were etched in her mind.

Her emotions were quite complex: gratitude, relief, the sweetness of overcoming hardship, yet she also wondered what she had done to deserve such affection from others.

Just as Han Rao was sitting on the sofa, her face streaming with tears, Zhao Jichuan arrived at an inopportune moment.

He was already very familiar with her home; he had even taken a key from her a few days ago.

Hearing the door open, Han Rao immediately wiped away her tears, turning her head away without speaking.

Zhao Jichuan saw her like this, furrowed his brows, walked in, and asked her, “Why are you crying? Who bullied you again?”

He hadn’t thought Han Rao was such a crybaby before, but seeing her shed big tears again, his heart tightened, wondering if another Su Wan had appeared.

Han Rao sniffled, folded the letter, put it back in the envelope, and explained, “It’s nothing, I just got emotional reading a fan’s letter.”

Zhao Jichuan didn’t understand such bizarre behavior, that reading a letter could make one cry.

But he respected her decision and said nothing more, going directly to pour her a glass of water. He teased, “Haven’t seen you in a few days, and you already have fans.”

Han Rao

She rolled her eyes at him and asked him to add more honey to the water.

Zhao Jichuan pulled open the refrigerator to get honey, and immediately saw the bouquet of sunflowers. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but then his gaze swept down, he narrowed his eyes, and his expression darkened.

He handed her the honey water and pulled out two tissues for her.

Han Rao said thank you and told him she would go with him after she finished her water and tidied up.

She knew he had come specifically to pick her up. But she couldn’t remember when he started coming to pick her up himself.

Han Rao blew on the honey water, then tilted her head back to drink.

As a result, as soon as she took a sip of warm water, before she could even taste the sweetness of the honey, she choked and coughed repeatedly.

Because she heard him say, “Han Rao, do you think I’m dead?”

Han Rao gave him a resentful look and blurted out, “Are you sick? Why are you scaring me?”

It’s hard to say when it started, but she wasn’t afraid of him at all anymore, because she knew he just had a bad temper, but wouldn’t truly hurt her.

And she, as it happened, was thick-skinned, the kind who could clap and cheer him on even when he was throwing a tantrum.

Zhao Jichuan’s face darkened, his gaze falling on the bouquet of sunflowers.

Han Rao frowned, explaining that the words were also given by fans, and asked him what was wrong, “Are you allergic to pollen?”

Zhao Jichuan thought she was playing dumb, but seeing her innocent look, he sighed.

Sometimes I really feel that you shouldn’t easily get angry with people like her. Because no matter how angry you get, she’ll always be especially innocent and won’t understand why you’re angry at all.

So, Zhao Jichuan had to swallow his anger.

He said helplessly, “Han Rao, that’s my cup.”

Did she really think he was dead? Using his cup as a vase for flowers.

He still needed to drink water.

Han Rao choked for a moment, “I didn’t have a vase. Besides, you’re not often here, so a cup wouldn’t be of much use.”

She glanced at him, and seeing the cold look on his face, Han Rao immediately shut up and changed her excuse: “That house is too small; there’s no room to spread out.”

Han Rao did feel that her home was a bit small. Now that she had a job and could earn money, she still wanted to move into a bigger house. At the very least, she wanted a dance studio with a large mirror, as she liked to dance in her free time.

She’s been dancing since she was little; she can’t give it up.

So the conversation began.

Han Rao, uncharacteristically, discussed her ideas for a home with Zhao Jichuan.

Zhao Jichuan rubbed her earlobe, pondered for two seconds, and then suddenly said, “Han Rao, move in with me. Live with me.”