**52**
The violin was a birthday gift from Shen Yizhi on her fourteenth birthday, the last warmth before their family fell apart. Ning Zhi, of course, kept it carefully.
But she didn’t know why Shen Yizhi suddenly asked about it.
Her face still held the satisfaction of having eaten watermelon, her smile slightly stiffened, and she instinctively became wary.
She quickly glanced at Shen Yizhi and nodded, “Keep it, at home.”
Shen Yizhi, looking at the birthday cake covered with candles today, thought of Ning Zhi’s fourteenth birthday, and so tentatively asked, only to provoke a defensive reaction from her.
She didn’t dare to touch on the topic again, so she smiled and brushed it off, “Is that so? That’s good.” Then she stood up, “I’ll see you out.”
Shen Yizhi opened the door, and Ning Zhi walked out.
The air condensed, and the lightness and joy that had just been floating in the air seemed to freeze and fall to the ground like ice.
Ning Zhi walked outside the door and looked back to see Shen Yizhi’s lowered brows full of weariness.
Noticing her turn her head, Shen Yizhi smiled, and the weariness faded a bit with her smile.
“See you tomorrow morning.” She said, her tone as gentle as always.
Ning Zhi returned to her room, opened her suitcase, and took out a soft little cloth pouch from a compartment. Inside the pouch was the safety charm that Shen Yizhi had rejected.
Whether it was the violin she had given her or the returned safety charm, she kept them all, taking good care of them.
The safety charm, made of such cheap and rough fabric, had not frayed at all after six years; it was still exactly the same as when she had smiled and placed it into Shen Yizhi’s hand.
Ning Zhi held it for a while, then carefully put it back into the small cloth bag, and stored it properly in the compartment.
The more she thought about it, the more regretful she became. If she hadn’t been so sensitive just now, she wouldn’t have ruined the atmosphere.
She needed to be careful from now on and couldn’t let this happen again.
She had actually warned herself about this many times, especially recently as her relationship with Shen Yizhi was becoming more harmonious. She didn’t want them to return to the freezing point at all.
But she could joke around with others and think before reacting when faced with other matters. However, whenever she encountered Shen Yizhi or anything related to their past, she just couldn’t control herself. It was like a stress response; her brain didn’t have time to think, and her body and expressions would go on the defensive first.
The next day, when she saw Shen Yizhi again, Ning Zhi felt a bit awkward. Not wanting to reveal her little feelings, she half-avoided Shen Yizhi.
She knew that after a day or two, she would be fine.
By noon, the weather was hot without a trace of wind. They were filming autumn and winter scenes, so the clothes had to be thick. Indoors was fine with air conditioning, but once outside, it was enough to make her break out in prickly heat all over.
Ning Zhi wanted to stay put, but seeing everyone was hot, she put on a mask, took a sunshade umbrella, and went alone to the watermelon shop from last night to buy some melons, planning to help the whole crew cool down.
But she was distracted and didn’t really listen when the shop owner asked her something. She just glanced at the shelves, saw there were only a few watermelons left, and thinking the crew was large and had big appetites, she said, “Give me all you have.”
As a result, she bought a whole cartload of watermelons.
It was common for the crew to treat each other. Usually, the director would treat, followed by the two leads. These were usually small things—sometimes a late-night snack, sometimes afternoon tea, or drinks and fruits.
Everyone was used to it.
But buying a whole truckload of watermelons like this was a first.
Ning Zhi only realized he had bought too many when the watermelons arrived. Hearing the cheerful teasing from the crowd around him, he first thought he had been foolish, then worried about the entire truckload of watermelons.
What could he do? He couldn’t just take them to the street to sell.
She turned to look for Shen Yizhi, wanting to ask if she had any ideas, but when she turned, she saw Shen Yizhi standing aside with a very amused expression, and immediately felt mocked, deciding not to ask for her help.
She squatted next to the pile of watermelons stacked high on the ground, thought for a moment, and decided to give them to the neighbors in the community, so she asked Yangyang to handle it.
Yangyang hesitated and said, “What if they don’t accept them?”
It’s not a time of poverty and hunger; people nowadays are very cautious, and most free things are usually refused.
Besides, they didn’t have enough people to go door to door delivering.
Ning Zhi thought about it and came up with another idea: “There’s a fruit shop at the entrance of the neighborhood. Let’s sell to them at wholesale prices.”
Yang Yang thought it was a good idea and ran to ask the fruit shop, but they refused, saying they still had too much stock to sell.
Shen Yizhi stood on the second floor looking down. They had been worrying downstairs for a long time, and Shen Yizhi watched for just as long.
Ning Zhi’s expression, which had been gloomy all morning, became noticeably more lively because of the pile of watermelons, carrying a hint of the innocent worry of a child unable to solve a math problem.
Shen Yizhi watched with a smile at the corner of her lips. Seeing that it was getting late and that the entire lunch break would be wasted soon, she went downstairs to help Ning Zhi.
Ning Zhi felt awkward as soon as she saw her, but didn’t want to show it too obviously. So she squatted by the watermelons, looked up at her, and waited for her to speak first.
Looking like this, if she wore a tattered straw hat, she could easily work as a little laborer on a melon farm.
Shen Yizhi held back a laugh and said, “Let it be, they’ll take care of it.”
Ning Zhi frowned, “Take care of it how? They wouldn’t just throw it away, would they?”
It seemed that unless these melons were given a proper place, she wouldn’t be at ease.
Shen Yizhi had no choice but to promise her, “I definitely won’t waste it. I guarantee that every melon will be distributed to someone who will eat it. Is that okay?”
Ning Zhi looked up at her and stared for a while before standing up.
She had been squatting for too long, and her legs went numb. When she stood up, she almost fell, reflexively reaching out to grab something nearby and caught Shen Yizhi’s arm.
Shen Yizhi helped her up accordingly, and only withdrew her hand after she was steady on her feet.
Ning Zhi followed behind her, walking into the narrow staircase that only allowed one person to pass through. She looked up at Shen Yizhi’s back and rubbed her palm against the seam of her pants.
She suddenly felt a bit uneasy because Shen Yizhi was very natural, very natural when talking to her, very natural when reaching out to support her—everything was just like usual.
Only she was being petty, dwelling on the events from six years ago, and even the slightest touch on the subject felt like poking at a wound, making a big deal out of nothing.
This is fine; the past must always remain in the past.
This is not good either, because she still cares a lot.
The filming continued.
Chi Sheng returned to school for class. As soon as he entered the teaching building, he was stopped by Su Miaomiao, who had been waiting since early morning.
Chi Sheng hadn’t seen her for a few days. She stopped him in the middle of the hallway, causing him to pause. He smiled slightly and asked, “What are you doing here?”
Su Miaomiao, however, wore a face full of displeasure and asked, “Where did you go last night?”
If it had been before yesterday, Chi Sheng wouldn’t have felt so guilty. If another ten or fifteen days passed and the impact of that person’s suicide attempt faded, she would be able to remain calm and composed.
Young people are both sensitive and quick to recover; their emotions—joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness—flash by in an instant.
But it just happened to be a particularly sensitive moment; she was still shaken, and hearing people inquire about her whereabouts inevitably made her feel resistant and irritated.
But no matter how irritated she was, she had to put on a mask of indifference.
The smile on Chi Sheng’s face faltered; he walked past her, vaguely brushing it off as he went forward, saying, “Where are you going?”
The corridor was filled with students rushing to class.
Su Miaomiao closely followed her, rummaged through her bag a few times, pulled out a delicately packaged box, and handed it to Chi Sheng: “Here, a birthday gift!”
Chi Sheng’s expression paused, holding the box, he looked down and curved the corners of his lips: “Thank you.”
Su Miaomiao’s expression relaxed, but then she thought of something and quickly became serious again, half questioning and half concerned as she asked, “I went to your dorm last night looking for you, but you didn’t come back all night. Your roommate said that every Friday you don’t return to the dorm and only come back Sunday night. Where have you been?”
It was no wonder she was confused. She had grown up with Chi Sheng, living in the neighboring building, attending the same elementary, middle, and high schools. They knew each other inside and out, and she had never heard of any relatives or friends of Chi Sheng’s around here that would let him stay over on weekends.
Hearing her insist on getting a clear answer, Chi Sheng became even more irritated.
She didn’t look at her, staring straight ahead, and said casually, “I went to tutor.”
The classroom was almost there, and Chi Sheng let out a slight sigh of relief, about to say they would talk next time, but Su Miaomiao grabbed her arm.
She pressed her lips together, her somewhat innocent and charming face growing even more subdued: “What kind of tutoring takes so long that you don’t even go back to school? And your roommate said you never participate in group activities, don’t communicate with anyone in the class, and go it alone like a lone ranger.”
Chi Sheng didn’t really pay attention to these things. She had to do tutoring, keep up with her studies, and also participate in a competition. She was as busy as a spinning top, going back and forth between the classroom, the art studio, and the library, with no time to spare for any activities.
She patiently said, “I understand.”
Her nature was casual and carefree, but she was somewhat stubborn, rarely yielding once she was determined about something.
Su Miaomiao knew her well, and hearing her say this, she thought she had given in, so her expression also softened. “There’s a high school classmate reunion this Sunday night. Are you coming?”
Several people from their high school class came to this university, and Chi Sheng got along well with everyone, but she had been distant from them for a long time. During the summer vacation, she declined to go to the amusement park and the beach.
After Su Miaomiao finished speaking, she glared at her, clearly meaning that she must be there this time.
Chi Sheng was somewhat tempted, but she remembered that she had arranged for her teacher to guide her painting on Sunday evening, so she declined: “I’m not free on Sunday, maybe next time.”
Unbeknownst to her, she had hit a nerve with Su Miaomiao, who spoke more harshly, as if she no longer recognized her: “You’ve changed and you’re not like yourself anymore!”
She angrily threw out that sentence, said not another word, and turned around in a huff.
Chi Sheng found it very funny, thinking to herself, what nonsense is this, how could she be unlike herself.
She turned and entered the classroom, sitting in the front row. She was used to sitting in the first row so she could hear the lesson more clearly.
Class hadn’t started yet, but the students were almost all there, and the classroom was noisy.
Chi Sheng held the gift Su Miaomiao had given her, flipping it over in her hands with interest, eager to unwrap it. No matter what, receiving a gift was always a happy thing.
Suddenly, a burst of laughter came from behind. Chi Sheng turned around and saw a boy shouting loudly, “What’s going on? We agreed everyone would perform, so why are you all getting stage fright at the last minute?”
The girl next to him immediately chimed in, “Exactly, hurry up, we need to finalize the program list today.”
Chisheng found it very interesting, so she turned around and leaned on the desk behind to listen to them talk.
It seemed like they were preparing for some kind of evening party program. More than half the class had gathered over there, chatting nonstop, noisy but not annoying, full of youthful energy.
Chisheng also wanted to join in. She originally liked gathering in groups and playing around; she had taken part in various high school activities.
Just as she was about to speak, she suddenly realized that among that group of classmates, except for the class monitor, the league branch secretary, and the students who collected homework for each subject, she couldn’t name most of them.
She was stunned for a moment, then the teacher came in, and the cluster of students scattered, all returning to their seats.
The girl next to Chi Sheng also came back. She slightly turned her body and whispered, “What are you guys talking about?”
The girl glanced at her, smiled, and while keeping an eye on the teacher, lowered her voice and said, “Our class is organizing a Christmas party ourselves, didn’t you know? We’ve been preparing for over a week.”
Foreign holidays are still very trendy right now, and college students love them the most; they often organize celebrations together.
Chi Sheng had no idea at all.
The girl saw her looking confused and suddenly said, “You don’t know?” Then she sighed, looking very understanding, “You must be pretty busy, right? They rarely see you around, so they didn’t invite you to avoid disturbing you.”
Chi Sheng responded with an “oh” and sat properly to listen to the lecture.
But around her, it was as if an air shield had formed; the teacher’s voice and the students’ responses were all blocked outside.
She felt like a solitary island isolated from the crowd.
She then recalled Su Miaomiao’s resentful words, “You’ve changed; you’re not like yourself anymore.”
Just now she found it funny, but now she realized it made sense—she had quietly changed without even realizing it herself.
Is this the price for liking Ruan Yinmeng? Chi Sheng suddenly became alert.
Ruan Yinmeng came back from outside.
She was neatly dressed, carefully shaped her eyebrows, chose a lipstick that matched her skin tone, but was not seductive; she looked more like a well-behaved and virtuous woman, and no one could tell what she used to do.
Passing by the entrance of the residential area, she saw someone setting up a stall selling oranges.
She stopped walking, smiling as she asked the vendor, “How much are these oranges?” while bending down to pick some.
The wind at the door blew her hair up around her temples, blocking her eyes. She raised her hand gently to tuck it back and carefully selected a few thin-skinned, large ones for the vendor to weigh.
Chi Sheng liked sour fruits. At home, if there were oranges or tangerines, she would peel a few for her. But if it was apples or bananas, she wouldn’t touch them unless coaxed; she had to be peeled properly for her, and only then would she reluctantly take a bite with her hand.
Ruan Yinmeng paid close attention to her preferences, always keeping them in mind, and always felt very happy.
Taking the orange handed over by the vendor, she walked home.
She was on the early shift today, which conveniently left the evening free for studying. Tomorrow she had to attend a tutoring class. Ruan Yinmeng was struggling a bit with her studies; after all, she had no foundation at all. Starting from scratch was always going to be more difficult.
But she studied very diligently, without a hint of negligence. Sometimes, she couldn’t even believe that her current life was real; it always felt like a beautiful dream.
Half a year ago, even in her dreams, she wouldn’t have dared to imagine that after severing ties with the past, her life would be so warm and peaceful.
Tonight, Chi Sheng would come. Just thinking about it made Ruan Yinmeng very happy. But it was still early evening, and Chi Sheng wouldn’t get home until after ten. Ruan Yinmeng had just felt that her study time was too short, but now those few hours seemed very long, and she wished she could see Chi Sheng immediately.