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Chapter 73

Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating
September 25, 2026 0

Chapter 73

Jing Huan returned home feeling unusually chilled and decided, for once, to fill the bathtub with water for a hot soak.

He had only been soaking for a short while when his phone, placed on the edge of the tub, started vibrating

incessantly.

Jing Huan slowly reached out to take it.

Lu Wenhao: [Photo]

Lu Wenhao: @Xiao Jing Ya What do you think of how I took this photo?

Gao Zixiang: Nice, very gay.

Jing Huan clicked on the photo and took a look—it was a shot of him and Xiang Huaizhi from behind.

But… were they really standing that close just now?

At the time, he was too focused on chatting and didn’t pay any attention to these details.

Xiao Jing Ya: Got too much free storage on your phone? Want me to send you a few movies?

Lu Wenhao: Damn, you actually watch porn too? Please.

Xiao Jingya: ?

Lu Wenhao: I thought handsome guys like you didn’t have any physical needs. Send it to me now!

Xiao Jing: You just took the bait and started climbing, huh? No pics, scram. Delete the photos — why the hell are you taking pictures of me?

Lu Wenhao: Don’t say that. I still want to post it on the forum to earn some points.

Xiao Jing: ??? [Die motherfucker.gif]

Lu Wenhao: No, look how many people are out on the streets tonight—someone else must’ve taken photos of you two! Rather than letting others post about it, why not let me do it? I’m just one post away from reaching level seven on the forum to join the group chat. See? Your bro here makes sense, right?

Xiao Jing: Try it if you wanna die 🙂

Of course, Lu Wenhao was just messing with him. After some playful banter, Jing Huan kicked him out of the group chat and only added him back after finishing his shower.

Jing Huan casually towel-dried his hair while sitting cross-legged on the sofa, browsing the forum.

He had been too guilty to open the post shared by Chichi earlier, but now that he had some free time, he couldn’t resist taking a look.

To his surprise, his in-game ID was plastered across the entire page.

Honestly, even during his prime years dominating the old server, he had never received this level of attention.

He skimmed through a few posts and finally clicked on the HOT thread posted by the user Xian Mengmeng.

The first three hundred comments in the thread were either mocking Xian Mengmeng for being overly dramatic and unreasonable, or ridiculing Xiao Tianjing for shamelessly clinging to others without a second thought.

Jing Huan had grown accustomed to it. Although it still annoyed him, he didn’t feel the need to argue with anyone.

Feeling irritated, he didn’t read carefully and quickly scrolled through the comments. Just as he was about to close the thread and leave, a particular comment caught his attention.

342L: Damn. Breaking news—Xin Xiang Wang Zhi posted screenshots of him and Xiao Tian Jing’s gameplay on his personal homepage! And he’s only opened the message board to Xiao Tian Jing…

344L: Not for Jing Hua Yue Yue, requesting screenshots!

345L: [Screenshot] Seriously… Did Xin Xiang Wang Zhi see the post? Why else would he upload the screenshots right after it was mentioned earlier?

355L: Did Xiao Tian Jing nag him into posting it? [Shut up]

Jing Huan frowned. What were they saying earlier? How did he miss it?

He scrolled back up and finally found the floor where these people were talking after searching for a while.

After reading it, even Jing Huan himself was puzzled.

Of course, he hadn’t pestered Xiangwangzhi to post their couple photos. Right now, he was practically begging for Xiangwangzhi to turn hostile and divorce him immediately.

So… why did HeartYearns suddenly upload their in-game group photo?

Could it be that he actually saw this post?

Did he do it to avoid being mocked by the forum users??

Jing Huan didn’t dare to think too deeply about it. Muttering “I’m guilty” under his breath, he closed the post.

Just as he turned it off, a message popped up at the top of the screen.

Xiang Huaizhi: Do you have any classes tomorrow afternoon?

Xiao Jingya: No, why?

It wasn’t until a few seconds after sending the message that he realized the person who had sent it was Xiang Huaizhi, not Heart’s Yearning.

…Damn.

Looking at his own use of “ne” and “la,” he wondered if it was still possible to recall the message.

Xiang Huaizhi: Jogging.

Xiao Jing: …Okay, around what time, bro?

Xiang Huaizhi: Three o’clock, does that work for you?

Xiao Jing: [nods]

After setting the time, Jing Huan hung the towel on the balcony, locked the doors and windows tightly, and returned to the computer to log into the game.

The first thing after logging in was to check Heart’s Desire’s personal homepage, where his latest photo already had over two thousand likes.

Jing Huan glanced at it briefly before clicking on the message board.

Just as mentioned in the comments, at the top of the message board was a glaring red line—Heart’s Desire’s comment section is only open to his wife, Little Sweet Jing.

Jing Huan: “…”

He had no idea Nine Heroes had such a pointless setting, and how did Heart’s Desire even know about it…

He hesitated for a moment, but ultimately left a cat paw print on the message board, hoping to make the place seem a little less deserted.

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Jingjing! Come check out this gossip!

[Friend] Sweet Little Jing: …Is it about me??

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: No no, it’s about Fairy Mengmeng.

[Friend] Sweet Scene: Oh oh, what’s the scoop?

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Weren’t you being hunted down by Lovesick Regardless before? Turns out there was a small account spamming her DMs at the time, constantly badmouthing Spring Night and feeding her brainwashing comments, which is why she thought Don’t Frown and Spring Night were shady. Guess who that alt account belonged to in the end?

[Friend] SweetScenery: …Xian Mengmeng?

[Friend] Love is sharing with you: [Shock] You actually guessed it right!!!

………

Only a fool wouldn’t guess this correctly.

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Xian Mengmeng wanted to replace Chun Xiao as deputy leader, and she really dislikes you (Don’t Frown), so she staged this whole thing. But today she asked someone to log in for her daily tasks, sent the wrong account password by mistake, and got exposed.

Jing Huan wasn’t interested in this matter and was about to give a perfunctory response when he suddenly noticed a key point.

[Friend] Sweet Little Jing: But it was just words from a minor account… Did Xiangsi Not Care really believe it just like that?

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: It’s not about trust, but doubts will always arise. These days, where can you find love without any suspicion? Especially in an intangible online relationship… During that time, Xiangsibugu and Chunxiao did argue for a long while. Fortunately, they had been together for a long time and didn’t break up. If it were a more fragile couple, who knows what might have happened.

Jing Huan had never been in a relationship, so how would he know about these things?

However, what “Love is Sharing with You” said gave him another idea.

A vague plan began to take shape in his mind, and the entire process took less than half a minute.

[Friend] Love is Sharing with You: Of course, I don’t mean to say that online relationships are bad…

Jing Huan snapped back to attention, a faint glimmer in his eyes as he typed a reply.

[Friend] Sweet Little Jing: Mhm, I get it—it’s all about the person, really! If anyone dares to use an alt account to badmouth my gege, I won’t stand for it! I’ll be the first to charge into the beginner’s village and take them out!!

“Xiangxiang, come help me kill a quest boss,” Lu Hang said, legs crossed as he called out to the person behind him. “You need three people to trigger the fight. Since Sweet Little Jing isn’t online yet, come help me clear this first.”

Xiang Huai asked, “Where?”

“Wait for me at the city teleporter, I’ll be right there,” the phone chimed. Lu Hang, who was on auto-path, unlocked his phone and grinned after reading the message. “You and Jing Huan are trending on our school forum again.”

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t care at all: “We’re here, hurry up.”

Lu Hang was genuinely curious. After grouping up with the person, he couldn’t help but ask, “You got secretly photographed, you know. Aren’t you mad?”

Xiang Huaizhi said lazily, “Whatever.”

Lu Hang clicked his tongue twice and glanced at the photo again. “Honestly, that night really freaked me out… The way you two were positioned was way too ambiguous. No wonder others got the wrong idea.”

Even he, who knew the truth, felt it was a bit over the top.

He joked half-seriously, “Take it easy, don’t forget you’re a taken man now.”

Xiang Huaizhi curled his lips slightly and let out a soft scoff. “Yeah.”

As the battle screen loaded, Xiang Huaizhi was about to start controlling his character when a line of yellow text popped up.

[Your Huan Gege has added you as a friend.]

Because he had been buying items in the world chat earlier, he hadn’t had time to turn off the “reject strangers” setting. Seeing this notification, Xiang Huaizhi opened the system settings, ready to block the message.

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Xiang Shen! I want to report! Xiao Tian Jing is just a vain, ill-intentioned, fickle-hearted bad woman!!!

Xiang Huaizhi’s fingers paused as he opened this person’s profile to take a look.

“Your Huan Gege,” a level 0 Fox Immortal Cave character—clearly just a throwaway account at first glance.

Not even worth the effort to kill.

He was about to block the person when he caught sight of their personal signature.

Before creating an account, Nine Heroes required every player to fill out their profile completely, which included a personal signature.

Your Brother Huan’s signature was “Kobe824.”

“……”

A suspicion arose in his mind. Xiang Huaizhi frowned, his face showing rare confusion and bewilderment.

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Xiang Shen, why aren’t you replying to me!

[Stranger] Heartyearns: ……

[Stranger] Heartyearns: Why do you say that?

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Do you think a good woman would cling to you as soon as you meet and deliberately act all cute and sweet with you?!

[Stranger] Heart Yearns For It: ?

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: And you’ve been together for so long, you’ve given her so many things—what has she ever given you! Nothing! You only give, never receive!

Jing Huan sat furiously typing at his computer, pouring bucket after bucket of dirty water over his own head.

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Her online voice is so cutesy—who knows what she actually looks like in real life! Might be some hideously ugly monster! Check her game profile—not a single selfie! Definitely too ugly to show her face!

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Besides, if she truly liked you, why would she go set off fireworks and play in the arena with Autumn Breeze? Clearly, she’s just stringing you both along—if she can’t reel you in, she’ll settle for Autumn Breeze as her backup!

[Stranger] Your Huan Gege: Think about it, really think it through!

Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t help but laugh—what kind of act was this supposed to be?

It was obvious this was their first offense, full of flaws—every sentence gave away their identity.

As if afraid he might actually believe it.

Most of the messages Jing Huan sent were copied from forum posts—blacklist-worthy quotes.

He had stayed up all night jotting them down, collecting thirty-eight golden lines in total, but so far had only used five of them.

His gaze lingered on the notebook as he pondered what to say next, when suddenly, a reply came through.

[Stranger] Heart Yearns for It: Finished reading.

[Stranger] Your Brother Huan: How was it?

[Stranger] Heart Yearns for It: I think you made some good points.

[Stranger] Your Brother Huan: ?

[Stranger] Heart’s Desire: Then do you think she’s after my reputation or my money?

[Stranger] Your Huan Ge: ???

What the hell?

Jing Huan held his laptop, frozen in front of the computer.

No…

Damn it, I’ve only sent a few messages?!

Are you really this easily swayed?!!

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