Chapter 41

Chapter 41

They would leave at the end of July, and Lin Ke had no plans to tell Si Xiaotie in advance.

It would be summer vacation then, and she and Si Yuming had discussed taking her along for a few days first so they could treat it like a trip.

But no matter what, it was still a separation of two years.

Lin Ke had already started feeling reluctant to part with her.

That night after bathing together, the mother and daughter climbed straight into the tiny princess bed.

Si Xiaotie looked puzzled. “Mommy, you’re not sleeping with Daddy anymore?”

“Nope. Mommy’s sleeping with Xiaotie.”

Of course Si Xiaotie was happy about that. She hugged her mother tightly.

But on the second day, the third day, the fourth day…

Every morning when she woke up, Mommy was still beside her.

Gradually, she became worried.

When she arrived at kindergarten, Gu Yiyi asked her concernedly, “Xiaotie, what’s wrong?”

The little girl propped her chin in her hand, wearing a miniature adult-like expression.

“I think my daddy and mommy are fighting again.”

“Huh?”

“My mommy has been sleeping with me these past few nights. She doesn’t want Daddy anymore.”

Ah. That really was serious.

Gu Yiyi immediately copied her posture and propped up her own chin.

“Then what should you do?”

Exactly.

What should she do?

Last time she had already used the “getting sick” trick. And when Mommy saw her feeling unwell, she looked so sad.

She couldn’t get sick again.

After thinking about it for the entire day, Si Xiaotie still couldn’t come up with any good solution.

So when Daddy came to pick her up that afternoon, she didn’t like Daddy anymore.

She shook off his hand and climbed into the car by herself.

Si Yuming was completely confused. Carrying her little backpack, he followed behind her. After the car started moving, he asked gently,

“What’s wrong, baby? Did something happen today?”

“I don’t wanna talk to you.” Si Xiaotie huffed and turned her head toward the window.

Si Yuming frowned, worried she had truly encountered some problem.

“Xiaotie, didn’t Daddy and Mommy tell you before that if you’re unhappy, you should tell Daddy and Mommy, or tell your teacher? You can’t keep it bottled up inside.”

The little girl finally turned around, glaring at him fiercely with her “very scary” eyes.

“Hmph. Bad Daddy.”

“?”

Si Xiaotie clenched her tiny fist and tried to punch him, but the child safety seat restricted her movement. Her fist swung uselessly in the air.

But that wasn’t important.

The little girl angrily accused him,

“You made Mommy unhappy!”

Now the man was even more bewildered.

“How did I make Mommy unhappy?”

“I don’t know! Anyway, you just made Mommy unhappy. She’s slept with me for four whole days already!”

As she spoke, she accurately held up four short little fingers.

Si Yuming immediately understood and couldn’t help laughing helplessly.

“Daddy didn’t make Mommy unhappy. Mommy’s sleeping with Xiaotie because…” He cut himself off. “Tonight, Xiaotie can ask Mommy herself.”

“You really didn’t make Mommy unhappy?”

“Really.”

When Lin Ke got home, Si Yuming told her about it.

Lin Ke also found it funny, but afterward she felt even sadder.

Because explaining it meant she would have to tell Xiaotie about the overseas assignment earlier than planned.

Right before dinner, Lin Qiliang suddenly came over. Aunt Chen said he was waiting outside.

Lin Ke exchanged a glance with Si Yuming, not understanding why her father had come.

But since he was already here, refusing to see him would be inappropriate.

The children were playing outside, so Lin Ke brought him into the study.

“What would you like to drink? There’s only hot water here. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine.”

Lin Qiliang sat down and quietly looked at the daughter who had grown further and further away from him.

He sighed inwardly.

Many years ago, Lin Ke had also been the treasure in his palm.

When he came home from work, she would throw herself into his arms sweetly while calling “Daddy.” Whenever he took out candied hawthorn skewers bought from the alley entrance, her face would light up with delight as she giggled and kissed him, saying thank you.

Back then, the courtyard house had very few rooms. The family was large, and her mother was still alive. The three of them had to squeeze together into a single room.

Every night, little Lin Ke chattered endlessly trying to make her mother happy. Exhausted from work, he always slept especially well listening to the mother and daughter talking.

But later, too many things happened.

The company went bankrupt. His wife suddenly passed away. Zhu Li and the new child arrived.

He simply couldn’t spare enough attention for his eldest daughter anymore.

Year after year, father and daughter drifted apart like this, becoming more and more distant.

“Keke.”

“Mhm?”

The water finished boiling quickly. Lin Ke poured him a cup and handed it over before finally looking up.

“What’s the matter?”

Her eyes were calm, without emotional ripples.

Lin Qiliang held the cup helplessly and smiled bitterly.

“Nothing. I just wanted to ask if you’ve been doing well lately.”

“Pretty well.”

“How’s your translation work going these days?”

Lin Ke looked at him, not understanding why he suddenly had time to care about her.

“Also pretty well.”

“When you were little, you were lively and active. Your mother and I both thought you’d become something like an actress someday. Your mother even said—”

“Dad.”

Lin Ke’s hand resting on her knee slowly curled into a fist as she interrupted softly,

“Don’t mention my mom.”

Lin Qiliang’s expression stiffened.

“What exactly did you come here for today?” she asked again.

Lin Qiliang lowered his head and took a sip of water before speaking slowly.

“Now Xiaotie is healthy and safe, and your relationship with Yuming is good too. Dad feels very relieved. Keke, over all these years, I failed you. I didn’t spend enough time taking care of you and made you suffer. Dad apologizes to you.”

The nails she hadn’t had time to trim dug into the soft flesh of her palm, but Lin Ke felt no pain.

What was the use of an apology…

Although Si Yuming couldn’t always stay beside Si Xiaotie either, there was never any doubt about the love he gave his daughter. It was absolute and unwavering. It didn’t disappear just because he wasn’t physically present.

But what about Lin Qiliang?

Even though they had lived under the same roof and eaten together every day, he had given all his love to another pair of children instead.

That kind of thing cut deeper than a knife.

Now everything had passed.

The little Lin Ke who had once felt hurt, confused, lonely, and desperate for her father to talk to her more or hold her more had already grown up.

She no longer needed those things.

The regret had become a scar.

It no longer hurt or itched.

It simply existed.

But that scar would never disappear for the rest of her life.

Lin Qiliang continued,

“I’m also apologizing to you on Jialang’s behalf. She’s young and stubborn, and she often acts or speaks impulsively. Don’t take it to heart.”

So in the end, it was still for Lin Jialang’s sake.

Lin Ke pursed her lips and smiled, the smile clean and transparent.

“I didn’t take it to heart. I just hope she learns from this experience.”

Outside, the sounds of Si Xiaotie and her brother playing drifted in.

Lin Ke stood up.

“We’re about to have dinner. Would you like to stay?”

Lin Qiliang sighed again in his heart.

“No. There’s still work waiting at the company.”

“Alright. I’ll walk you out.”

Lin Ke escorted him to the door. Only after his car disappeared did she adjust her emotions and turn back inside.

Si Yuming was waiting in the entrance hallway. His expression was serious, but he said nothing.

He only squeezed her hand gently.

After dinner and some playtime, Lin Ke took Si Xiaotie upstairs for a bath.

After bathing, the little girl, dressed in her pajamas, tried pushing her mother toward the door with utmost seriousness.

“Mommy, Teacher Baibai said grown-up children should be independent. So tonight I want to sleep by myself. You should go sleep with Daddy!”

Lin Ke smiled warmly.

“Alright. Then after Xiaotie falls asleep, Mommy will go sleep with Daddy, okay?”

“Mmm… okay then.”

She carried her daughter onto the bed and tucked both her and her little companion Lele under the blanket.

Then she spoke softly.

“Baby, Mommy wants to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Si Xiaotie looked over with wide eyes.

“Does Baby still remember how before we started school last year, Daddy often had to work outside and could only come home after a very, very long time?”

“I remember! Every time Daddy came back, he brought me yummy food and toys.”

Before the age of three and a half, Si Xiaotie had always had Mommy beside her. She didn’t really understand what longing meant and had little concept of separation.

Daddy going on business trips only meant that once he returned, she would receive gifts.

But Lin Ke wasn’t sure how her own departure would affect her daughter.

Carefully, she said,

“Baby, Mommy has to go away for a while too, just like Daddy did before. Mommy will only be able to come back and see Xiaotie every three or four weeks.”

To Si Xiaotie, this was still just a sentence without real meaning behind it.

Instead, she curiously asked,

“Where is Mommy going?”

“Moscow.”

Naturally, she had absolutely no idea where Moscow was.

Blinking, she smiled brightly.

“Okay! Then Mommy has to remember to bring Baby presents!”

“Okay.”

Looking at her daughter’s innocent smile, bitterness spread through Lin Ke’s heart.

She lowered her head to kiss her gently and explained softly,

“So Mommy only wants to spend more time with Baby. It’s not because Mommy and Daddy are fighting.”

Hearing that immediately reassured Si Xiaotie, and she hugged her mother tightly.

After the little girl finally fell asleep, Lin Ke carefully let go and left the room.

She originally intended to return to the bedroom, but halfway there her steps changed direction.

She went downstairs instead.

Ever since moving here, the vodka she used to keep in the refrigerator was gone. Only the red wine Si Yun often drank remained.

Lin Ke took it out and poured herself half a glass.

Red wine wasn’t as strong as vodka. It even carried a trace of sweetness as it slid down her throat.

Even after several gulps, she still felt nothing.

“Here.”

Hearing a voice, Lin Ke turned around and saw a bottle of unopened whiskey that Si Yun had somehow dug out from somewhere.

Si Yun used the opener to uncork it, then found two round glass tumblers, dropped several ice cubes into each, and poured the liquor. Pale amber liquid submerged the ice.

Lin Ke cupped the glass with both hands and took a sip of whiskey.

Only after the high-proof alcohol began burning through her body did she finally feel slightly better.

Si Yun had returned home late and didn’t know Lin Qiliang had come over.

She glanced sideways at Lin Ke.

“What? Regretting it already?”

Si Yuming had told her about the overseas assignment. At the time, she’d been surprised the posting had come so quickly.

Now, looking at the loneliness on Lin Ke’s face, her emotions became complicated.

After returning to work for the past few months, she had gradually started regretting what she once believed was the correct decision.

Back when she became pregnant with Manman, Yuming had happened to take over the company, while Qin Ru’s career was also rising steadily. She chose to leave work and return to family life.

At first, life truly had been beautiful.

Her son was obedient, her husband loved her and was ambitious, and her younger brother was leading the company into greater prosperity.

She’d thought her life was already perfect.

But when problems finally appeared, she realized that at some point her world had become entirely centered around her husband and child.

So when she discovered Qin Ru’s affair, her entire world collapsed completely.

She had nothing left to rely on.

Si Yun often wondered:

If she had maintained her own career back then, would things have turned out differently? Would Qin Ru still have looked for someone outside?

But regardless of whether Qin Ru stayed or left, at least she would have had confidence and support for herself.

And now, she had actually started envying the person she once looked down on.

Lin Ke was far clearer-headed than she had ever been.

Si Yun slowly said,

“It’s only a work assignment. Xiaotie still has Yuming with her.”

Unlike her own child.

Manman no longer had a father.

She finished the whiskey in one gulp and turned to go upstairs.

…

Lin Ke stayed downstairs alone for another ten or so minutes.

By the time she went back upstairs, her face was already slightly flushed.

The moment Si Yuming saw her and caught the scent of alcohol, his brows furrowed.

“You drank?”

The woman lifted the blanket and climbed into bed, taking the initiative to wrap herself around his waist.

She buried her face against his chest and rubbed against him like a child.

Si Yuming covered them properly with the blanket and wrapped an arm around her shoulders before asking first,

“Why did your dad come tonight? What did he say?”

“Nothing much.”

“Tell me?”

Lin Ke closed her eyes.

After a long while, she finally spoke softly.

“He apologized to me. Said he was sorry.”

Her voice was calm, but Si Yuming could feel the unease radiating from her body.

He hugged her tighter.

“Mhm.”

A long time passed again.

The person in his arms remained silent, but he knew she wasn’t asleep.

So he continued asking,

“How did it go? Did you tell Xiaotie?”

“I told her…”

“What did she say?”

“She’s still a child. What could she say?” Lin Ke’s voice sounded muffled. “Si Yuming, while I’m gone, you have to take good care of her. Don’t let her get hurt or sick, and don’t force her to do things she doesn’t like.”

“In the mornings, she always tries to slack off while brushing her teeth. You have to watch her carefully. And don’t let her eat too much candy or cake, or she’ll get cavities.”

She quietly continued listing instructions one by one.

Si Yuming didn’t interrupt.

He simply let her continue talking.

“And at night she likes kicking off the blanket while sleeping. The temperature in her room has to be adjusted properly, and the humidity too. Don’t let her catch a cold.”

“By now Yuan Yuan should probably be able to speak properly again. If you have time later, remember to take Xiaotie to see Yuan Yuan. Good friends need to see each other often.”

“And also, no matter what you’re doing, you absolutely must answer Teacher Baibai’s calls. Actually… you should set Teacher Baibai’s WeChat and phone number as priority notifications. Where’s your phone?”

Si Yuming handed her his phone.

The woman, already slightly drunk, had misty eyes as she randomly pressed at the screen several times before asking,

“What’s the password?”

“Your birthday.”

“…”

Lin Ke froze for a moment before laughing softly.

“How cheesy.”

After unlocking it, she opened WeChat.

But the moment she saw the single pinned chat at the top, she blanked out again.

She lifted her face to look at him and met his focused gaze.

His eyes were like a vast, quiet night sky, and she was a tiny star reflected within it.

Lin Ke awkwardly looked away again and searched for Teacher Baibai’s contact.

He didn’t chat much with Teacher Baibai. Most of their messages were related to picking up and dropping off the child.

She directly pinned the chat, marked Teacher Baibai as a starred contact, and then set her phone number as a special-priority caller with ringing enabled.

After finishing everything, she shoved the phone back at him and warned him seriously,

“You absolutely must answer her calls, understand?”

“Understood.”

“Now that summer’s here, don’t let her eat too much ice cream, and don’t let her watch too much television either. She’s already four now, and I think it’s time to start some early education. What if she grows up into a silly child? So when you tell her stories or play with her, pay attention to those things. And depending on what she likes, sign her up for some hobby classes.”

“And also, don’t work overtime too much at night. If she misses me, you should stay with her as much as possible. Don’t let her sit alone feeling sad…”

Her voice grew softer and softer.

Si Yuming pulled her into his arms and patted her back gently.

“I remembered everything. I’ll stay with her. Don’t worry.”

Clearly they hadn’t separated yet, but after giving so many instructions, Lin Ke’s emotions finally overwhelmed her.

Her eyes became wet as her fingers clenched tightly.

“Si Yuming…”

“Mhm.”

She was still a little afraid.

After her mother left, she became alone.

She had to go to school alone, eat alone, sleep alone, do countless things alone.

After getting married, it seemed like another person had entered her life, yet there was still distance between husband and wife when their hearts hadn’t truly drawn close.

Only after her daughter was born did she finally stop feeling lonely.

Si Xiaotie crying, Si Xiaotie laughing, Si Xiaotie happily eating with chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, Si Xiaotie rushing into her arms when she came home from work…

Every single moment made her feel that her life had finally become complete.

And now they had to separate.

For two years.

Once again, she would become alone.

The one unable to adapt wasn’t Si Xiaotie.

It was her.

As the countdown to departure drew closer day by day, her separation anxiety only grew stronger.

“I’m going to miss her so much.”

“I know.”

“When I come back during holidays, if you have time, bring her to see me too.”

“Okay.”

She confirmed again stubbornly,

“You promised me.”

“I promised.”

After a while, Si Yuming suddenly asked softly,

“Will you miss me too?”

The woman stayed silent for a very long time.

Her breathing gradually steadied, and just when he thought she had fallen asleep, he heard her finally answer in a tiny voice.

“…I will.”

    Si Yuming’s lips curved upward as he held her tighter.