The next morning, Xu Sui woke up from bed feeling like she had been tossed into a washing machine, all the moisture in her body drained, leaving her exhausted and weak.
She struggled to sit up at the bedside, her throat parched. As she looked for water, she noticed a tablet of fever-reducing medicine and a glass of water that had long since cooled down.
Xu Sui’s gaze froze. Last night, she had collapsed with a high fever, barely conscious, vaguely remembering someone diligently taking care of her.
After a moment of thought, she realized Liang Shuang was the one who had been visiting her house frequently recently. So, she picked up her phone and sent a voice message via WeChat:
“Shuang Shuang, were you taking care of me last night when I was sick? Thank you so much. Let me treat you to a meal sometime.”
It took a while before Liang Shuang replied with a voice message. Her tone was somewhat muffled and intermittent: “Ah… yes, it’s nothing. Rest well during the weekend.”
Xu Sui responded with a Pikachu meme.
She also felt lucky that it was the weekend, giving her a chance to rest properly.
High fevers come and go quickly. On Monday, Xu Sui returned to work feeling refreshed.
In the morning, Xu Sui walked into the hospital office carrying a white tote bag, wearing a camel-colored wool coat and commuting shoes. To her surprise, her colleagues were not at their desks working; instead, they were gathered around the front desk, looking at the computer monitor where Nurse He was on duty, discussing something animatedly.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Xu Sui asked with a smile as she approached.
“In our lifetime, a big celebrity has actually come to our hospital,” a doctor replied.
“Huh?”
“It’s Yessing, that international supermodel. She’s here at our hospital for surgery and has booked the VIP suite on the top floor.”
“Wow, celebrities are so wealthy,” Zhao Shuer said enviously.
“I heard she’s undergoing breast tumor surgery. I wonder whose appointment she took,” Nurse He said, pausing, then added, “Could it be Dr. Xu’s?”
Xu Sui’s heart skipped a beat at being mentioned. She smiled and brushed it off, “My surgery schedule for the next half-month is fully booked, and I’m not experienced enough. She probably booked with an expert like Professor Fang or the vice president.”
Han Mei said, “Hey, you won’t believe it, but she did book with Professor Fang.”
Xu Sui’s lips twitched slightly. She rested her hand on the table, intending to leave.
A colleague called out to her, “Dr. Xu, aren’t you curious what the big star looks like?”
Xu Suo glanced back at the monitor. A camper was parked by the roadside. Yessing wore a long black down jacket, her face obscured by a mask, revealing only a pair of amber eyes, despite being bundled up, her graceful figure was still evident.
She withdrew her gaze and smiled, “Not really curious. If I delay, the patient in bed 24 will be worried.”
Yessing’s presence at the hospital left Xu Sui feeling absent-minded all morning. She nearly scalded herself while pouring hot water and even signed the doctor’s name wrong on a patient’s medical report.
Xu Su placed her pen on the table, leaned back in her chair, gazed up at the ceiling, feeling bitter and melancholic.
But Xu Sui reminded herself that it was nothing. Yeseining couldn’t hurt her anymore.
On Wednesday, the weather cleared up, and the temperature began to warm.
The tiger-striped orchid on Xu Sui’s desk had slowly unfolded its leaves over the past few days.
During lunch break, sunlight streamed through the blinds, casting a corner of the table in light.
Xu Sui was watering her plants with a small spray bottle when the head nurse knocked on the door, holding a file folder, saying, “Dr. Xu, the patient in VIP Room 703 wants to see you.”
“703?” Xu Sui was sensitive to this number. She had seen this room number on the nurse’s duty roster at the front desk a few days ago—it was Yessing’s room.
She instantly remembered it.
With a soft smile, Xu Sui replied to the head nurse at the door, “Okay, got it.”
After the head nurse left, Xu Sui plucked a tulip from the vase filled with water, left her office, and took the elevator to VIP Room 703. Her hand, tucked into her coat pocket, curled her fingers and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” came a female voice from inside.
Xu Sui entered and immediately saw Yessing lying on the hospital bed, her assistant sitting beside her, cutting fruits.
“Yun Duo, could you step outside for a moment?” Yeseining said to the girl.
“Sure, Sister Ning. Just let me know if you need anything,” the assistant replied, putting down the apple.
As she passed Xu Sui, the assistant smiled friendly and closed the door behind her.
Yessing lay on the bed, visibly exhausted from the recent surgery. Her face was pale, devoid of color.
Xu Sui looked at her and asked, “Feeling better?”
Xusui had transformed from a quiet girl into an outstanding, beautiful, and elegant woman. “You look much prettier now,” Yessing praised.
“Thank you,” Xusui replied modestly, focusing on arranging the flowers.
Suddenly, Yessing coughed, a sharp pain piercing her chest, causing her to grimace in agony.
“Actually, the reason I wanted to see you today is to apologize after many years,” Yessing’s voice was hoarse, her tone serious as she said each word, “I’m sorry.”
Xusui paused in her flower arranging, accidentally pricked by a rose in the nearby basket, her fingertip oozing blood.
She hadn’t expected Yessing to apologize.
“It’s in the past now, and Zhou Jingze is not with me anymore,” Xusui glanced up, continuing with the flowers.
Yessing shook her head, pausing before speaking again, “Actually, there were things I should have explained to you back then, but I was abroad and my career was too busy. So, when I returned to China this time, the first thing I wanted to do was find you and apologize.”
“Actually, when you and Zhou broke up, he was deeply hurt and spent a long time in pain and despair. Especially when he found out it was my doing,”
Yessing self-mockingly curled her lips, her tone pained, “he immediately sent me back to England.”
“He said he never wanted to see me again.”
“He said that if it weren’t for you, he would have casually married someone else, but not me.”
Yessing knew Zhou Jingze meant what he said, so when she heard it for real, she was devastated. She wanted his forgiveness, but Zhou Jingze was determined to teach her a lesson.
Yessing still remembered Zhou Jingze’s tenderness and ruthlessness.
His dark brows were filled with strong resentment and suppression, like a trapped beast, almost choking her.
It was then that Yessing realized that Zhou Jingze’s affection for her in the past might have been a little more than just appreciation and mutual admiration.
Xusui was his bottom line.
Yessing thought she could touch it, but after touching it, she realized she was wrong, completely wrong.
After being sent back to England, Yessing thought it was just a moment of anger. She often sent gifts and letters to him, but they were always returned.
It wasn’t until a year later, on Christmas Day, that Yessing gathered the courage to call Zhou Jingze, only to find that the number was no longer in service.
Yessing suddenly woke up from her dream, realizing he would never forgive her.
Later, Yessing’s career didn’t go well. She was lonely in a foreign land, with no family or friends, and developed depression.
At that time, Yessing really missed Zhou Jingze. Unable to sleep at night, she took a tranquilizer, but still couldn’t sleep, looking out the window to see a blurry moon.
Suddenly, overwhelmed with emotion, Yessing got out of bed, crying as she wrote an email to Zhou Jingze, admitting her mistakes, apologizing to Xusui, and telling him how unhappy she had been lately, suffering from depression.
She even lowered herself to the dust, writing in the email: “I’ll do anything if you come to see me.”
After sending the email, it was as if throwing a stone into the ocean.
Every day, in the midst of emotional anxiety, Yessing eagerly awaited Zhou Jingze’s reply. Every day, after returning from the hospital, the first thing she did was check her email for a response. Until the tenth day, she saw that the email status had changed from unread to read.
Zhou Jingze didn’t reply, nor did he come to see her.
This was his punishment for her.
“I met Zhou when he was quite young, and his mother had just passed away. I’m a year older than him and entered society earlier. Something happened at that time, and I happened to help him out, so he felt indebted to me, which is why he indulged me in everything.”
Yessing’s face was pale as she recalled this, her expression still pained and unbearable.
Because in love, no one wants to admit their failure.
Yessing caught Xusui’s puzzled expression and asked, “Didn’t he tell you what happened?”
Xu Su shook her head. She didn’t know what had happened with Zhou Jingze initially. She vaguely remembered sending the wrong text message and being mistaken for Ye Saining, which led to a misunderstanding between them. Zhou Jingze apologized, but he also had a dark side he was afraid to reveal to her.
Ye Saining nodded, feeling a pang of sourness. Although she didn’t want to admit it, she sighed, saying, “Then he really… deeply loves you.”
Xu Su’s pupils contracted, her heart trembling slightly. Someone had told her that after all these years, he still loved her, unwaveringly. She suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed. It was like trying hard to get a flower, a flower of her own, and someone was willing to traverse deserts and mountains to present her with a bouquet of flowers. Because he liked her, he was willing to go the distance.
After leaving Ye Saining’s sickroom, Xu Su remained in a low mood. Suddenly, at this moment, Liang Shuang called. Xu Su answered and adjusted her tone, saying, “Hello, what’s up?”
Liang Shuang sounded somewhat embarrassed, hesitated, and sighed, “Su Su, actually… it wasn’t me who took care of you when you were sick that day. It was supposed to be Zhou Jingze. He even called me, probably wanting me to take care of you, but I got drunk that night…”
“And recently, I’ve been irritated with him, so when you thanked me in your message the next day, I accepted that goodwill. But after thinking it over, I felt it wasn’t right. I don’t really know what he’s thinking… Anyway, sorry, sis.”
“Okay, I understand. It’s alright,” Xu Su replied softly.
After hanging up, Xu Su pondered. So it was actually him who took care of her that day? Following this logic, during this period, the one trailing behind her every night, fearing for her safety, must also have been Zhou Jingze.
For a moment, her emotions were complicated. Knowing these things, she didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.
In the evening, there happened to be a departmental dinner gathering. After everyone finished a lobster feast, they moved on to the Red Crane Club.
On the way, Xu Su sat in the back seat of the car, with her colleague Zhao Shuer beside her.
Seeing Xu Su’s demeanor was off, Zhao Shuer nudged her arm and asked, “Did you have a breakup? Your face looks terrible.”
Xu Su smirked faintly, “It’s more complicated than a breakup.”
“Oh, it’s okay. Shout it out later, we can sing together when we do karaoke to let off steam.”
“Okay,” Xu Su nodded.
When the group arrived at the Red Crane Club and entered the private room, colleagues immediately let loose their true natures, playing games, singing, and making a ruckus.
Singing turned out to be quite enjoyable for Xu Su, and with the lively atmosphere around her, her low spirits lifted somewhat.
After Xu Su finished singing a song, Zhao Shuer’s chosen song started playing. Xu Su glanced at it – it was a classic duet by Wu Bai and Xu Jiaying, “Passive”.
Zhao Shuer handed her the microphone, then abruptly left, saying urgently, “Please sing for me first, my darling is calling.”
“But—” Before Xu Su could finish, Zhao Shuer hurriedly ran out.
Xu Su had no choice but to sit back on the high stool and look at the screen.
In this grand singing extravaganza, as the rhythm began, Xu Jiaying immediately emitted a refreshing and carefree laughter.
Following the beat, Xu Su started singing slowly. She wasn’t very familiar with this song, had heard it before, but couldn’t remember the lyrics.
Somehow, as Xu Su continued singing, her voice grew softer. She simply stared at the screen and stopped singing altogether.
The whole KTV echoed with the original singer’s voice.
In the dim red lights and noisy surroundings, everyone was engrossed in their own world, displaying immense enthusiasm and concentration, oblivious to Xu Su’s distress.
She sat on the high stool, back to everyone, listening to the song. Tears unexpectedly rolled down her cheeks, drop by drop, staining her eyelashes and nose red.
At the day-saving concert, Xu Jiaying sang with a blend of seeing through everything yet still holding onto youthful sentiments:
I can go a long time without contacting you,
Letting days pass by.
Keeping busy can serve as an excuse,
Avoiding the weakness of missing you.
I can learn to be indifferent towards you,
But why can’t I learn to stop loving?
Facing you is the greatest torment for me,
These years, I’ve never spoken to you.
Loving you longer makes me more passive,
Just because your love has no fixed place.
You made my heart,
Slowly retreat to a corner you can’t see.
Xu Sui couldn’t bear it any longer, so she set the microphone aside and hurriedly ran out.
For someone who tended to cry uncontrollably once started, she didn’t want to cry in front of her colleagues. She ran out only to cry in the bathroom, hoping to wash her face afterward and calm down a bit.
She didn’t know what was wrong with herself.
Maybe she remembered many things, remembered all these years after the breakup, where she seemed to be doing well, never contacted him, and rarely thought of him. She had wrapped herself up like a cocoon.
But over these years, sometimes late at night, seeing a photo, a high school exercise book, she would suddenly burst into tears.
No one knew.
Some people, in a corner of their hearts, were simply untouchable.
Xu Sui kept her head down and walked toward the bathroom, but accidentally bumped into a warm chest.
“Sorry—” Xu Sui lifted her tear-stained face.
Zhou Jingze had a cigarette in his mouth, his pitch-black eyes staring at her motionlessly.
Seeing Xu Sui with red eyes from crying, his heart suddenly ached. Frowning, he asked in a low, deep voice, “Why are you crying? Did someone bully you?”
“No.” Xu Sui sniffled.
She lowered her head, tears still glistening on her eyelashes. “I’m going to wash my face.”
After saying that, Xu Sui escaped from beside him.
Zhou Jingze watched her leave and chuckled self-mockingly.
He counted silently.
Just now, she had only said three sentences to him.
Zhou Jingze went back to the private room, walked to the door, hesitated for a moment, then walked to the end of the corridor and lit a cigarette.
Inside, people were playing mahjong. One player was missing, so Sheng Nanzhou, instead of waiting, went out for a walk.
Sheng Nanzhou found Zhou Jingze by the corridor window, patted his shoulder, and said, “Still smoking here? I just saw Xu Sui out here too. We’re having dinner with colleagues. Aren’t you going to find her?”
Zhou Jingze wanted to say they had just met, but it didn’t really matter.
So he said nothing, took the cigarette out of his mouth, tugged at his mouth corners, and said slowly, “Forget it, she doesn’t like me anymore.”
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